It's funny really, this topic is viewed from so many angles of disappointment, fear. panic, sadness. For me I've learned more than I ever imagined. My views changed drastically on my journey and that's what I want to share with you today.
Before I was pregnant I always used to say '' Kids? Maybe when I'm 30'' Or ''If I were to get pregnant now I would definetly abort.'' Blabla these tipical punchlines coming from so many teens also came out of my mouth once.
This one night changed EVERYTHING in my life.
So lets jump to the beginning while I was working a vacation job in Daimler Benz. Making money for my future travels with my boyfriend. Everything went according to plan until I felt off one night. Something felt different and my period was late. I was definetly suspecting something was off. So I decided to buy a test to make sure. I had late shift that week which means I had the test with me at work and waited until I was done with my shift to do it. I had been thinking about the test all day. It was mind consuming! I would google early pregnancy symptoms and completely freak myself out. So once my boyfriend picked me up at night I started feeling more and more nervous. He would say '' Don't freak out it'll be fine'' , but I just knew something felt different.
I took a shower and afterwards I did the test. Those 2 minutes felt incredibly UGH and my heart was pounding out of my chest. After 2 minutes were over I glanced at the test and there was a HUGE stripe. It indicated positive. My surroundings felt surreal and I thought I was dreaming. Honestly it was crazy. I looked at the clock and it was 23:23 PM. I slowly walked towards the window and stared outside into the night sky, crying.
Soon enough my boyfriend would check up on me and I told him. He was really sweet about it and just said ''Whatever is going to happen, we'll make it work together.
That night I could barely sleep I could feel something was present in my aura far away. I just didn't feel alone. I would think about my future plans I had made and how a baby would change these plans. I was in shock. So, the next day instead of going to work I went to see a doctor to make sure I was pregnant or if it had been a false positive. The ultrasound even indicated a small heartbeat and I couldn't believe anything happening. I was startled! My boyfriend and I then researched abortions and the costs - it was a nightmare reading about different methods of abortion. It seemed so unnatural and weird to me.
The first time I went to my doctor they asked me at the secretarys desk wether or not I will want to keep the baby..infornt of ot he patients! I felt so misused and disguisted by how they treated me. As if abortion seemed completley normal. It didn't seem normal to me at all. The way doctors treated women here was not very personal nor nice. It was so steril and unemotional- I hated being there.
I needed to talk to someone close to me about the issues I was confronted with- So I called my mother. She was my savior. She made it clear to me that pregnancy isn't something you choose, it is far more. The universe chooses. It is soul connection and soul contract. Abortions only affect the physical. But what about the aura and soul connection you make? Once conceived you are not alone let me tell you that. My mother made it clear to me that having an abortion wasn't necessary. I meditated a lot during this time and came to the conclusion it was my souls path to take the gift and grow with it and to let it transform me.
I thought about all the couples trying to have children for years without success. This wasn't a coincidence . It couldn't have been.
My boyfriend and I both decided we would walk this journey together. So we moved to my parents house in Spain. There I searched for a midwife. I was in crisis because I didn't visit a doctor in Spain and I wanted to be consulted by a midwife not a doctor.
With huge amounts of luck I found a german speaking midwife and we are now relocating in Spain so we won't live so far away from her. I would talk to her on the phone and she consults me and it feels great. I was in good hands at last.
Now I am in the 23rd week of my pregnancy. This pregnancy changed my life and my current reality.. My boyfriend and I are now building an online income with bitcoin and we plan to travel to South America next year.
This pregnancy brought me closer to my soul purpose and closer to my boyfriend. I was lost for a long period of time, especially in the beginning of the pregnancy, but now I feel like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
I was only 18 for two months when I got pregnant and I will be giving birth with 18. VERY young in my opinion. But that's life- Life happens and it lives and it's wonderful. If I would have caused resistance and aborted I am sure my soul wouldn't be in a very good place emotionally. This being inside of me it communicates on deep levels and it feels magical bringing life into the world. I feel like this is part of my purpose here and I can't wait to see what the future has in store for me , my baby, and my boyfriend.
I want to create a youtube channel and a blog and share my story beacuse I know a lot of people are going through this and I know that sharing stories help eachother. Reading other stories helped me.
We as women need to tap into our divine self and step into the power of a woman.
Women are sacred and women are portals for new life. MAGIC
I hope I could inspire you, I will keep an update and maybe create an instagram account for my pregnancy.
Thank you for reading,
AK :)
