I have been privileged to meet a lot of people in life, been in almost all manner of circles.
I am an observer who likes absorbing information especially as it pertains to human relationships.
One thing I have come to realize is that communication is the prerequisite for a healthy relationship but communication alone is not enough, understanding must accompany it.
When an individual with good communication skills meets one who lacks understanding, it will not work. Showing how equally important it is to have understanding.
I am not referring to romantic relationships alone, they are also very essential for the success of family and friendships.
I had a roommate a few years ago with whom I would spend several hours arguing. At the end of the argument, we realize that we were on the same page all along. So what happened? Poor communication and understanding.
This is exactly nine years since I last saw this roommate of mine but the lessons remain ever fresh in my memory.
Subsequently, I became very good in not only communication but also in understanding and this is evident in my day to day human relations.
Hardly do I get misunderstood, because I communicate properly and even when someone is about to misunderstand me, I sense it and immediately clarify.
I don't get into arguments these days, especially those arguments that are as a result of misunderstanding.
Because of these two qualities, I became very good in dispute resolution to the extent that in school, whenever two individuals are at loggerheads with each other, I will be called to intervene in the matter and bring lasting solution.
Because of the need for continual interactions in our day to day activities, these two skills are indispensable.
Their absence does not mean they cannot be acquired. Through deliberate efforts, they will be acquired by any willing individual and implemented.
Many marriages have failed due to lack of communication or a lack of understanding.
Almost every divorce that is not caused by a cheating partner could be solved by proper communication and understanding, either before or within the marriage.
Imagine getting separated just because one partner while taking toothpaste, presses from the middle while the other wants it pressed from the edge. OR because one partner is fond of leaving the toilet seat open.
These may look impossible or trivial until you witness it first-hand which I have witnessed.
Growing up, my parents would settle quarrel between our neighbor and his wife because of the toothpaste palava.
The man likes the toothpaste presses from the edge but the wife would always forget and press from the middle. The man would them forget to close the toilet seat and the wife detests that.
I used to think they were being childish and immature.
Same goes for family disputes which oftentimes becomes uncontrollable. Communication is the key alongside understanding.