If you've never worked with a toxic person before, congrats - you're either working alone, extremely lucky, unemployed, or you might be the toxic one.
Let's be honest: the workplace can be a strange place. One minute you're focused on your work, doing your best. Next minute, someone is giving you an attitude like you stole their lunch or their destiny.
Over the years, I've seen all kinds:
The "supervisor" who isn't actually a supervisor but tries to control everyone like the office belongs to their ancestors.
The one who reports everything - right down to how long you stretched your legs, how long you breathe at you desk and how many spoons of rice you ate at lunch.
The one who barely does any work but is somehow always the loudest during meetings.
And of course, the classic: the one who says "it's not personal, it's just work" after insulting your entire existence and bloodline.
But you know what I've learned? You don't fight crazy with crazy. You let crazy run laps while you sit somewhere calm, drinking water, and minding your business.
But sometimes, it goes beyond attitude - it turns to full-on madness.
Let me tell you what happened just yesterday.
I was laughing with a fellow colleague about something funny. Completely harmless. Out of nowhere, another fellow colleague (who wasn't even part of the conversation) turned and said "You're acting like you're the madam of the office"
Excuse me? Where did that come from?
I was confused, but I calmly replied "Please face your laptop and mind your work"
Apparently, that one sentence hit him in the soul, because with all seriousness, he said, "I will slap you."
I didn't react. I didn't raise my voice, even as he went on with all the ways he was going to slap me. I just looked at him, surprised he had that much audacity on a Wednesday afternoon. A few minutes passed, and guess what? He came back again, shouting, insulting, and ranting like I insulted his bloodline.
I simply picked up my earpiece, plugged it in (was I listening to music? No), and stared into the distance like I was streaming peace - just to signal, "I'm not available for nonsense."
He was fuming. Meanwhile, I looked like I was chilling on a beach somewhere. That's the energy we're keeping this year.
And this isn't even the worst drama of my workplace.
I've been working here for about 4years now (going to the university, and resuming work when I'm home for semester breaks and holidays), so I've seen my share of madness. Especially when it comes to our boss's wife.
Drama, power trips, wild office politics - everything. To cut things short, let's just say people don't always treat others well when they think they're untouchable. But when the table turns, guess who they call first.
Me. Because I'm "nice". Or maybe just too polite to say no.
What I've Learned About Surviving Toxic Coworkers Without Catching a Case:
1. Smile Like You Don't Know They're Crazy
You know that polite, peaceful smile you give your aunt when she's asking uncomfortable questions? That's the one. Use it. Toxic people expect you to explode. Confuse them with grace.
2. Don't Enter Their Drama
Engaging with them is like arguing with someone who believes the Earth is flat. You'll waste your time, your energy, and probably some brain cells. You'll tire yourself out, and they'll still be there, just as annoying. Stay classy, not crazy. You're not paid to argue. You're paid to work. Let them talk to themselves in circles.
3. Keep Evidence Like You're Building a Netflix Documentary
If it gets serious, start gathering receipts like you're preparing a court case. Screenshots. Dates. Witnesses. Don't just say "he insulted me." Say "At 2:47pm, he said... and I quote... 'I will slap you'". Silence is golden, but proof is power.
4. Guard Your Mental Space
Take your breaks. Go outside. Listen to music. Medidate if you need to. You're not a machine. Your peace is priority. Don't share your energy with someone who's draining your soul.
5. Know When To pack Your Bags And Your Sanity
If the drama starts affecting your mental health, it's time to exit the group chat - literally. No job is worth anxiety, migraines, or waking up everyday like it's Judgement day.
Honestly, working with toxic people is like being stuck in a badly-written reality show you didn't audition for. But with humor, patience, and an invisible playlist on your earpiece, you can survive it - and even laugh about it later.
And if all fails?
Just remember: you're not alone. We're all silently screaming into our pillows too. Some of us are here plugging in earpieces we're not even using - just for peace and petty balance.
Images are mine