Since it is getting close to that "wonderful" time of the year when we all work out how much money we should be giving to the greater good and all those public services out there. So of course, it's the time of year that so many scammers call so many marks whilst pretending to be officers of taxation after a pound of flesh.
Don't be fooled. The tax office will never call you. Since they never got me, I can only speculate as to what they're trying to get out of you.
How it Works
- Call telling the mark that there are some anomalies in their account linked to criminal activity
- Get details or extort money from the mark
- Possibly steal the mark's identity with a freshly-stolen tax identifier number
My Stories
I get at least one every year. These are the best-recalled hits. Remember that I deliberately pitch my voice higher for these calls and don't correct any assumptions.
Them: Hello ma'am, we have some anomalies in your filed taxes that could be linked to criminal activity
Me: Which year?
Them: It is for this year ma'am.
Me: Interesting, since I haven't filed anything yet.
Click.
Nice try, little Poflo, but no sugar cigarette.
Them: This is the Australian Taxation office, my name is Officer [FAKE NAME] and I am calling in regards to some anomalies we have found in your account.
Me: (already wise to this) Yeah? Which account?
Them: In your tax account, ma'am.
Me: There's no such thing as a tax account.
Click.
A little wiser, but not as clever as I am about this nonsense. Weirdly, they keep thinking that "my account" is going to cause me to panic.
Them: Hello, I am Officer [FAKENAME] of the Taxation Offices and we have detected several anomalies with the most recent records you have filed.
Me: (Ah shit it's these assholes again) Let me guess. It's linked with criminal activity.
Them: That... is correct. Are you confessing to a crime?
Me: No, I've heard all this bullshit before. I didn't buy it then and I'm not buying it now.
Click.
They're refining everything they can, except for one small detail - the tax office never rings you. If you've been very bad, they send out an arrest warrant. The first thing you know about it is when the cops turn up at your location. Fun. Otherwise, they just fine the shit out of you the next time you file your returns.
The most recent one is linked heavily with next week's, and the final episode in this series (so far). Fingers crossed, I don't have to inform you of any more scams coming my way.
Them: We are ringing to inform you that anomalies in your accounts have been linked with criminal activity and your tax file number is about to be frozen.
Me: There is literally no way anyone could do that.
Click.
Of course I let MeMum know about them, but she actually worked in the tax office at one point and knows some of the in-factory parlance. She catches them out with sly questions that anyone who was there would know. Yay, Mum.
How to Stop it
Once more, a little knowledge is a powerful thing. They cannot "freeze" your unique government numeric identifier, be it your Tax File Number or Social Security Number. It's a unique identifier, not an account or depository with fiduciary resources behind it. It's a thing the system uses to be sure that you are you. End of.
It cannot be frozen. It cannot be suspended. It could be 'marked' but the scammers haven't thought of that and it involves some pretty hefty government powers that I'm not naming in case these dipshits are taking notes.
And anyway, none of them would call you. Your first notification by the official mob would be a flashbang through your front window. Because it would be that firkin severe a case.
Next week: Ring Ring, It's Crime Bot -- The finale!
[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / homestudio]