A Man Never Forgets His First
Bassey applied to study Mechanical Engineering at the prestigious Federal University of Technology on a dare. So no one was more surprised that he was when he received information on his admission to the school. Actually, he did not receive the news, his uncle did. Uncle Jones was a very gentle man but his only vice was that he was very economical with information. He was so economical with information that he never said anything twice and when he did say anything at all it was in the form of a question, perhaps just to be sure he wasn't repeating it.
"Did I tell you that I received your acceptance letter to the University?" he said as he stepped out to go to work.
"No, uncle," Bassey replied trying to match his uncle in sounding casual about the subject matter.
"Oh, okay. Here is your letter. Are you ready to go so I can drop you off at the bus terminal on my way?"
Bassey was not surprised that his uncle not only held back the information but also expected him to assimilate it fast enough to have a packed bag and ready to move immediately. Not this time around, Bassey thought.
"No, thank you. I think I would like to take a bus," he replied.
"Good. Here is your allowance for the month," Uncle Jones said as he walked to his car.
Bassey arrived the campus with his backpack and two suitcases. Most of the students were bored and everything out of the ordinary seemed to excite them. But they did not make fun of anyone. They just greeted you specially and shook hands with you. Bassey did not think there was anything wrong with the greetings until he saw one guy wearing particularly baggy shorts and an equally big t-shirt. he noticed that most students would leave the direction they were heading to cross the road and greet him, "Well done, bro". He must be really popular, Bassey thought. But it did not take long for him to realize that he was also getting that number of greetings except that his hands were unavailable for handshakes. He decided that perhaps, bringing his whole belongings along for registration was not such a hot idea so he went to look for a room.
He thought that rooms were allocated to you just because you were admitted. He took his things to the hostel. He approached the dimly lit porter's office at the hostel and looked through the window. He could not see anything. After a few moments, he saw the outline of a very heavy woman, scooping something into her mouth from something that looked like a giant flask. She didn't seem to be aware of the boy standing in front of the counter built onto her window.
"Good afternoon, Ma. Please, I am a new student and I am here for my accommodation," he said.
"You're a new student and so what? There is no accommodation. It is finished. Go and buy from other students that want to resell," she said, pouting as if he just disturbed her sleep. Bassey was disappointed. He could not move. He doubted that the allowance which his uncle had given him would be enough to buy an accommodation in the University hostel, especially in the black market. As he stood there, looking as dejected as he felt, Oz tapped him on the shoulder.
"Hey, bro. Are you alright? Accommodation problems?" He asked.
Bassey did not understand why everyone called everyone else bro but he nodded.
"No biggie. I will show you somewhere you can at least drop your bag. My name is O-zed," he said and stretched out his hand for a handshake. The strain of carrying those bags everywhere made Bassey amenable to anything that would help him to drop them.
"Thank you," he said and followed Oz. He led Bassey to the right side of the building and went up a flight of stairs, carrying one of Bassey's bags. Then he walked along the corridor to Room 210. He stopped and walked into the room without knocking, though, in his defence, the door was open. He dropped the bag he was carrying and pointed to the right side of the room. "Here is your corner," he said. The room was divided into three sections called corners. There were two outer corners and one inner corner. The division was done using a thick curtain-like fabric and two-by-two-inches woods. The entrance to each corner was a zip which could be unzipped from top to down. Oz unzipped it for Bassey, but when Bassey attempted to step inside the corner, he almost fell down with the shock of seeing eight people huddled inside the small space. Three were standing, getting ready to go out, two were sleeping and the rest sat in corners obviously studying.
Bassey wanted to turn around when he remembered that the weight of those bags was not going to change. He dropped his suitcases and the backpack.
"Bros, were you assigned here too?" the Light-skinned guy polishing his shoes asked, extending his hand for a shake.
"No, I am with Oz."
"Oh," Lightskin said, swallowing the rest of his comment about how Oz was not even a member of that room.
Bassey doubted that his belongings were safe in that room but Oz assured him that it was one of the most secure places on campus. So he dropped his bags and went back to Up School where he intended to continue his registration and probably find his classmates to find out what he had missed for reporting to school almost three weeks later than other students. It was not until around 7:00 pm that he returned home to find his corner mates all dressing up.
"Good. You are here," said Lightskin. "We were about going out for TGIF"
"TGIF?" Bassey asked.
"Yes, you know, a place we go and thank God for his love and protection. Where we go to say we love you, we adore you and we are grateful for all the things you've done in our lives and all you're going to do. It is called Thank God It's Friday," Lightskin explained.
"Oh! That," Bassey replied, slightly confused. He did not consider himself a religious person but neither did he figure the bunch in front of him as religious. So he dropped his bag and changed into another jeans and t-shirt and was ready in a minute. There were nine of them namely Chopper, Anime, Lightskin, Oto, Oz, Ten-ten, Some-Fillant, Upthrust and himself. As usual with many such gatherings, most people did not introduce themselves: they just get to learn each other's name as they interact. Apparently, their destination was not far. They went behind the hostel and Chopper led the way to a small road that seemingly led into the forest. But they were not in the bush for long before a paved road materialised in front of them. Bassey looked around and found himself outside the school campus.
They walked across the road to a small building which walls were made with corrugated iron sheets and plywood. In front of the small building were plastic tables and chairs. As they arrived, chopper pulled one long table to another and formed one longer table. The others, as if it was already planned, pulled chairs and placed it around the two tables. It did not take Bassey long to realise what was happening but, he was still a little confused because he thought they were going to a church or something of the sort. He sat down and contemplated what he was going to do. Chopper called over a woman that was standing at another table, taking orders and he ordered Gulder beer. Four more people ordered the same drink.
Bassey looked around the table and realized for the first time that they all pretty much looked like drunkards or at least they looked like people who could hold their drinks. He, on the other hand, had never taken a beer in his life. Finally, his eyes rested on Oto. Oto was a slim, almost frail-looking guy, with slightly protruding front teeth that made him look a little bit like a rabbit. He wore horn-rimmed glasses every time, making him look geeky. He seemed like the sort of guy who would not drink so much if he drank at all and Bassey wondered why he hung out with the other drunkards in the first place. Against his better judgement, Bassey decided that instead of being the odd guy out, and probably displeasing a bunch of guys that have been nothing but welcoming since they met that morning, he would just emulate Oto and do whatever he did. Bassey betted himself that Oto would not drink more than one bottle of beer and tried to settle down.
When Oto joined everyone else to order Gulder, Bassey did the same.
"My man," Chopper said, looking very impressed with Bassey's choice. Bassey aimed to please so he was happy that he ordered beer instead of his usual bottle of coke. He poured the amber liquid in the glass as Oto did and tasted it. He would have had to spit it out at once if the posse wasn't there. It took some doing for him to swallow it without making a face. He was a guy who liked to drink more than anything else. The only problem was he always preferred sweet liquids. Oto continued pouring his drink and so did Bassey. Each swallow was easier than the one before it. By the time both him and Oto were done with the first bottle, Bassey's inhibitions were as gone as the liquid in that bottle of drink. His slightly intoxicated mind told him that he might stagger on the way home and therefore give himself away as a non-drinker or light brain as they called it, so he figured he better practise with the one bottle of drink in him to ensure he could walk in a straight line. Bassey Okon was nobody's light brain. He stood up and very carefully stood from his seat. With measured steps, he walked towards the toilet to take a pee. He tried to walk in a straight line, in an effort to convince himself that he was doing alright. As he walked away, Chopper noticed that he walked a little bit like a model doing a cat-walk but he couldn't be too sure because he had one bottle of Gulder in him too.
After the second bottle of drink, Bassey began to feel more sure of himself that he stopped bothering with counting the bottles. He just focused on doing his funny cat-walk which Chopper's tipsy mind found very amusing.But Chopper was not the only observant person, Bassey also noticed something about chopper: the more he drank, the cooler he became. He looked like someone was pouring cold water on his head on a hot day. By the time they had spent up to an hour, Chopper was communicating by sign language. When they were ready to go home, it was the waiter that counted their bottles. That was when Bassey realised that while others drank five bottles of beer, he and Oto drank six each. He turned around and looked at Oto, but he could not believe that the guy had the physiological capacity to contain six bottles of 60cl beer. His intoxicated mind calculated that to amount to about 4 litres of beer. He wanted to contest the waiter's claim on the basis of that fact but he reminded himself that all he needed to do was stay calm and walk back to the hostel without or else run the risk of giving himself away. Chopper paid for the drinks as if it was his responsibility to take care of everyone else. They walked back to the hostel.
On the way back to the hostel, Bassey needed to take another pee, so he walked a little bit off the beaten path and did his business, then suddenly he vomited over one litre of liquid including the soup he had drunk at the bar. He felt better especially when he came out to find that none of his friends knew that he threw up. Well, it meant that he had to walk back alone but that was not a problem because he knew his way to the hostel. He soon arrived and walked up the stairs. It was dark but the rail on the steps guided him. He found room 210 and walked in. He unzipped the corner and stepped in. The guys were already asleep but there was just one set of bunk beds. On the top bunk, was one person and on the lower bunk were two people. He thought about the prospect of climbing up there and wished he could stay on the lower bunk. He tapped the person on the top bunk, "Shift," he said and the person obliged without waking up. He climbed up and immediately slept off.
He woke up to a loud scream in the room.
"Boy! There is a boy in my corner oh!"
He jumped from the top bunk and fell on his face. He tried to stand up and stumbled, tearing the corner demarcation. He stood up again and ran out of the room and down the stairs. As he ran, he saw a see of girls from each level of the three-storied hostels watching him and laughing. He realised what had happened. He went to room 210 of hostel B instead of room 210 of hostel A. Hostel B was the female hostel. He ran straight to his room hoping that none of his new roommates knew what had happened to him. Of course, they got to know eventually. And from then onwards, nobody called him Bassey ever again. He became B-man and realized why none of his friends answered their real names.
Authored by: @churchboy
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