Excerpt: this article is one you would want to read twice and come back to when you have difficulties in your relationship. It will save you valuable years on your path. This wisdom, that I have found out only after I had bled and shed many tears, is priceless. The bottom line is very simple - you cannot prove your love to those who do not love themselves! Don't even try, you will only waste your time.
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That ancient Indian proverb, quoted in the title, has proven itself to be true numerous times in my life. Spouses, friends, relatives – no matter who the person I am interacting with, there always comes a point in our relationship when I feel them asking in their hearts – "does he really love me?"
Since one of the basic elements in a loving relationship is confidence, I make sure to reassure them that I do love them. I do not want anyone who is dear and close to me to doubt my love. When people feel loved they can grow and flourish to be all who they are. Like a flower, they open up and grow beautiful petals, colorful and rich with scents. And by doing so they enrich their environment and make my own life more pleasant. So you see, my reasons to express my love to other people are quite selfish.
But what is so tragic sometimes is the fact that most humans have a serious problem to believe that someone loves them. I tell them that I really don't judge them, and they nod but later I feel how they avoid telling me things for fear that I would think badly of them. I tell them that I really love them, from my heart, and they smile and say "yes, I know", and later they look for new manipulative ways to make me prove that love.
At first, I allowed them to feed off me. Each time they asked for proofs I found new ways to show them how deep is my love. I never got tired of doing that and I hoped that one day they would really feel their own source of love and cease to doubt mine.
And then I realized – I am only doing them harm by abiding those requests. I will never be able to prove my love to someone who has not found it already from within.
And you know, it's quite easy to recognize those who have. People who are connected to their essence LOVE to express that love all around. They will rarely ask "do you love me?", they will rarely manipulate you to show your love. They will actually not care at all if you do. All they would want are opportunities to express their love to the world.
And when they find a counterpart, someone whose heart is sovereign as well, a mature relationship is created.
Blessed is the human who does not need the love of others but can simply rejoice in their own.
