It's been years, since I've lost my Mother; but in the last 2 weeks people very close to my heart lost theirs, with one of them happening yesterday. I woke up to the bad news and in all honesty, I am still shocked; because she was not known to be a sick person (that I knew of) and it seems like it was natural causes (still had so much life to live).
My MOM passed away after battling cancer for 10 years and died at 62 years old, which was still young; but we knew that her life expectancy was going to be shortened by the cancer.
During her cancer battles, her fight and how much she wanted to live for her family is what will always make her my one and only hero.
I don't deal well with the subject of death. I dislike going to the hospital when someone I care about is fighting for their lives, I deplore funerals and will rarely (if ever) get close to a casket to say my goodbye and I tolerate burials, because it's the desire of saying my final goodbye or until we meet again. It is all very excruciating for me.
I prefer to remember the person as they were when they were alive.
I've lost many important people, but it's not about them passing on; that should be the focal point. It should be how much impact they had in my life and others during their time on earth.
Yes, it's difficult not being able to pick up the phone to hear their voices. It's excruciating knowing that, yet another holiday they are not there; to share the love for the times that family gathered to celebrate the holidays.
I myself fight tooth and nail to extend my life, by working out 6 out of 7 days a week, making healthier choices with what I put in my body, clear my mind of what doesn't matter and focus more on what does.
I don't have children, so my fiancé's children have become my family by default and I try hard to lead by example and try to leave a legacy that can pave a better road for them in the long run.
Dealing with death for me is not one of religion, spirituality or anything that I can put a label on it, because I don't want to spend the blessing of waking up alive contemplating death.
What I prefer to do is celebrate the moment I wake up another day and carry on the legacy my Mother, Grandmother and all the family and friends I've lost throughout the years, by enjoying life and making sure I make a positive difference in other's lives.
It's a clear understanding that we all will pass on, but each day we have the opportunity to do something great, have an amazing experience or celebrate other's accomplishments.
Unfortunately, dealing with death will always be something everyone will face in life; fortunately, we will always have the opportunity to celebrate life while We Are Alive.
