Good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good day to you Sir, Ma'am, It, These, Those, and Them Over There.
My name is @NoNamesLeftToUse The Writer/Artist Himself!
Today I'll be introducing you to:
But not just any Herbert...
No. That would be far too cheesy and lame. Herbert just sounds like someone who pumps gas or maybe someone who mops floors on the night shift at the grocery store.
I picture an old man because parents these days have more sense in their heads.
Of course, now I feel compelled to apologize to anyone unfortunately named Herbert, but it wasn't my fault.
Yes it's true, there were some famous and influential people named Herbert. So it's not a total write off.
But even someone like H.G. Wells had enough sense to cover the erbert and just go with the 'H'.
You wouldn't name a dam Herbert, you'd name it Hoover, because who the hell would go visit a dam named Herbert?
Some trippy stoner burning man hipster chick might name her kid Herb, but I think she's talking about plants.
Anyway, I'm not exactly sure why I'm even digging this Herbert hole deeper and deeper. The way my luck has been going these past few weeks, nine out of ten people on Hive will be named Herbert. So, unfortunately, Herbert supremacists will come from far and wide to gather and downvote:
The strangest thing happened.
Now that I've given birth to a Herbert, I think it's the best name, ever.
Nobody will be bugging Herbert the Horrendous because his name is Herbert, if they value their life.
Say one bad thing about Herberts again, I dare you.
Herbert the Horrendous is the protector of Herberts worldwide!
Now even Herberts can feel safe again.
You're welcome.
Disclaimer:
I am not anti-Herbert. What you've experienced here is what's known as an 'art post'. The words contained within are what's known as character development. One cannot simply create a protector of Herberts without having an actual reason to protect Herberts. Altogether, you've witnessed a combination of art, fiction, humor; which makes this post one of the greatest posts you've ever seen!
Have a nice day.
