Yesterday started out like any other day; after hitting snooze approximately 371,943 times, I rose from the dead and wandered upstairs for sustenance. I was overjoyed to find that some friends of mine had left part of a large box of chicken wings in the fridge. Easy prey.
Cold chicken, mild spice. I’m mowin’ down. The first two wings went off without a hitch. First bite of the third wing - that’s when the pain began.
When the bone struck my molar, a stinging sensation shot into my gum and throughout my entire head. My eyes immediately watered up and my roommate found me screaming curse words into the couch cushions. After laying in the fetal position on the couch for some time waiting for the pain to subside, I took a couple of ibuprofens and promptly fell asleep.
When I woke up about an hour later, my teeth and head were in much less pain. In a daze, I stumbled into the kitchen. A few wings still sat in the box on the counter, lonely and afraid - and without skipping a beat, I pulled a move in the spirit of Einstein’s definition of insanity...
I picked up that fucking chicken and began eating it again. How stupid am I?
If that doesn’t show how powerless I am to buffalo chicken, I don’t know what does.
Stay safe out there, friends.
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