It doesn't begin with, "One day, I woke up and my beautiful son was gone."
It doesn't begin with normal development during infancy, then sudden regression during toddlerhood.
Whatever the cause of Autism and Sensory Processing Disorder may be, looking back, I know my son's signs were there from the moment he cried out for the first time in the delivery room. I see it every time I watch his birth video.
From day one, we've been trying to lure our son out of himself.
We were given a baby who didn't want to be held or cuddled, who didn't seem to care when we picked him up from the sitter, or never let us touch his hands to play. We were given a child who was locked inside of himself because his senses were having problems processing the world around him. Every light is brighter for him. Every smell is stinkier. Every noise is louder.
It wasn't until he was 6 months old that my suspicions became strong. This is when most children begin strong babble and building the first cornerstones of language, but it never came for us. Instead, my son became fixated on visual stimulation and spent a lot of his time sitting on the floor, watching his hand move in front of his face like a hippy at Woodstock.
So, when I'm asked the question:
"What was your first sign that your son has Autism?"
It stops me dead in my tracks.
Usually, the person asking is another mother. Usually, she has an infant, and usually, that infant has done one or two things that have made her question the presence of Autism.
Where do I begin for her?
I didn't know a single thing about Autism when I first noticed something different about my baby, and I remember every time I would describe a quirk, someone would say, "Oh yeah, my kid did that, too. He'll grow out of it."
Because of this, there was a short time I waited and hoped instead of acting on my instinct.
Also, that is ultimately what makes recognizing the signs so difficult during the first two years - all of the quirks can easily be brushed off as "normal baby stuff" when they are that young. Any baby can be delayed in any area - babbling, eye contact, gesturing, pointing- and still be a perfectly healthy, non-autistic child. Everyone develops differently.
It was my son's persistence that triggered my instincts. For example, he didn't just watch his hand like a hippy at Woodstock for a few minutes, then run off to play- he sat and watched his hand all afternoon.
There were other things -always small things - It wasn't until I sat down with a specialist and started evaluations that answers came. Researching all of this online by myself only lead to more confusion, mostly because the online checklists were so vague and rarely matched what I was experiencing with my son.
So, what are some signs to watch out for?
First, remember that just because your baby is doing one, two, or even all of these signs, doesn't mean you have an autistic child. Most signs of Autism are things every baby will do at some point. The key is to look for obsession, persistence, and lack of ability to move past a developmental stage.
1. An absolutely inconsolable baby.
If the child has been seen and ruled out colic and other typical things that cause baby to scream for hours on end, consider sensory needs. (Just remember that sensory processing issues don't automatically mean autism. However, a majority of autistic children have sensory disorders).
Itchy clothing, a diaper fitted too tight, a hat, cold fingers or toes - these are all things that will drive a person with sensory needs up the proverbial wall.
Sensory needs will change over time, too. My son, who used to hate hats, now loves this monkey hat, two sizes too small, because it squeezes his head and gives him sensory input while he plays:
2. Lack of engagement with people in the room. More focus on objects.
At three months old, we could not take my son into a room with ceiling fans without having a screaming infant in 3 seconds, flat. That terror eventually evolved into an obsession with anything that spins, which then evolved into an obsession for anything that runs on wheels. My son, at 4 years old, knows more about vehicles than most grown men!
3. "Stimming"
Stimming is a comforting motion or noise. Usually repetitive. Some children rock back and forth, some children make squealing noises, and some children are like my son and flap their hands. Stimming is a regulatory action, not necessarily a positive or negative reaction, but can sometimes be a clue to his emotional state.
In the video below, you will see him start to stim as the bowling ball rolls away because he is excited - so excited that he needs a physical action to regulate himself:
4. Your parental instinct.
Trust yourself. They tell you not to compare your child to other children, but as a new parent, you really can't help it. It's always more of a check up on yourself and your ability to raise another human, and it's completely natural, so don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for it. If you notice your child isn't developing quite the way other children are developing, it doesn't hurt to get an evaluation if for no other reason than to put your mind at ease. Google "early childhood intervention" along with your location and reach out to people who understand how important it is to recognize the signs of Autism as early as possible.
