I remember watching some indi film in the nineties, it was some northern European low-budg, but I recall their entire style was about a decade behind ours. The thing with the internet is, it got all of us to the same level. Or as some people say; a hole-uva-level. I've been seriously dawdling when it comes to this lousy steemit, but it's no wonder.
I saw it one day. It wasn't on her face it was the look her sister-in-law gave me after I chauffeured her to the airport. Not so much the "look" more like the look-away. And I felt the pang right then and there, as well as a bit of a back ache from handling her luggage. Tossing it up on the curb like some silver back suitcase commercial of yor.
"We both know it's been over for quite some time." Did we now? She said this a week after she left and although I knew she was right it was tough giving her the satisfaction of being so.
I'm glad I'm here. I'm primarily a writer, however I feel since we are all carrying around with us what is essentially more technology than Welles had when he made Citizen Kane, the age of the video-blog is forever upon us. I wished I had gotten into it sooner, but one cannot do these things on ones own. I'm a huge pervayor of that. If I don't have another person to bounce I ideas off of I don't bounce off the walls (anymore) I begin to do what I've come to call; Floundering.
Floundering is watching the paint dry figuratively and what Bukowski said was just time to space out. He also said; "I knew she was out there, and I knew there would be somebody else. Yet I had to let it happen, I had to let events take their own course.” in his wonderful novel Factotum. Indeed. How many duties have I come to perform? He also said; "The myth of the starving artist is a hoax" and by gawd he's right.
If a person is an "artist" it means they have a natural and inherent ability. Whether this is strictly genetic or somehow pieced together at about ten thousand hours of practice, they begin forming their craft and making it look easy. That's what I think some people think about me. They think I make it look easy. They look at me and think I got it easy. Some lady looked at me and blurted "you look rich" out of know where, just because I knew how to piece together selected inexpensive attire replete with ten dollar shades that looked a hundred.
This is truly a privileged curse as I've been telling my counselor how despite my confident demeanor I've always been afraid. I've been running scared my whole life and do I really want to confront these demons? I honestly believe I already have and if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. And if it's that dues paying bullshit you're giving me I only have this to say; got change for a nickle? Cause I already paid mine.
So I've been making videos lately and I really want to begin podcasting which I decided to do almost as a dare. I'm just so bored and I need interaction. That's another thing the ex doesn't understand. Having no-body next to me is taking some getting used to. That was the bad news. Good news is (sentence redacted)
I feel very confident on speaking on a wide-array of topics however I've been a podcast listener for so long, it's more about knowing what Not to do, as far as talking about your technical issues while they're happening. Hey, I have a great appreciation for spontaneity and in-the-moment-improv, but it really gets old really quick. And all the email reading-save that for a special show. And by the way-my notion of this spiritual awakening is that it is a malleable event in that I/We should be working proactively and with astrology to determine what the elite have planned next.
I believe this awakening was facilitated by the aggregation of news and information, with one of the first being Mea Brussel. She subscribed to and read from about a dozen daily news papers from across the country. She was able to aggregate this information into various alternative hypothesis. Very similar to what Miles W Mathis does currently.
I wanted to begin my video by talking about Cognitive Dissonance and how our moods can be effected pretty heavily by this strange phenomena when you hold two (seemingly) contradictory notions in your mind, until one dissolves the other. One can experience extreme depression, anxiety, et al. in response to this so it is very important to understand what your Red Pill Moments are. I say that plural-y because since 2008 I can't recall how many I've had, two or three a year maybe, with it increasing intensity after 2012. And while I know 2012 was a new age psy-op (Y2K, Ozone Layer, Acid Rain, Global Warming...) it does coincide with the 26K year cycle. This is where my Astrologist could come in. Anyone reading who wants to work on this project from an Astrological stand point please contact me. This is part of what I was going to do with my spiritual group.
I read the pamphlet at the other place. I've seen what people have to offer as far as the hallow ringing notion of "spirituality". It means so many different things yet comes out new agey sounding and rightfully so. From Alice Bailey to Helena Blavatsky from David Ike to (dare I say) Alex Jones, people have always had their own spin on what this reality is and how this realm is truely made up of. Electro Magnetics are all. Please contact me all who read.