I would like to introduce you to the worst possible thing you could ever get me for Christmas. This think listens to the voice in your head. Which one? Who the hell knows. I don't know about the rest of you but my brain is like a troop of howler monkeys most days. I mean some A- hole might cut me off in traffic and end result is this think hacks the nuclear codes and wipes a small nation off the map. That is best case scenario. God forbid Trump has space force on line by the time someone straps one of these on me. We are picking a fight with some aliens baby.
What if same gal strolls by with a set of perky c cups and an ass you can bounce a quarter off of and this damn thing whistles at her and gets me in shit with my wife?
Me: "But honey I didn't do it!!"
Her "Yeah, but you were thinking it."
Fuck, she got me there.
They are gonna have to put some kind of HO mode on that thing like airplane mode on my phone.
What about when you have to lie to be polite? Like your friend brings over their new baby and it looks like a bad face swap on instagram?
Me: " Oh look at the baaaaabie."
headset: Did it puke on it's own face? What the fuck is this? It looks like stripe from gremlins. Did you mother fuckers feed it after midnight?"