I fervently begged the Universe to show me another way instead of having my son's father killed. He was scheduled to die the following day. David was my employee. He worked at the two car dealerships I opened after I quit law enforcement. Since I was also a dedicated preacher, I officiated the wedding ceremony between David and my future ex-wife, Candi.
(I wrote the chorus and lyrics to this song in less than three days during the most painful time of my life. I had always been considered a musically challenged white boy but pain can bring out hidden creativity and talents.)
The couple had an Autistic son together and divorced a few years later. I was single from my second marriage so Candi and I started dating. She soon became my third wife and I was happy and enthusiastic about fathering Zack. David rarely visited his son and secretly became jealous of my marriage to Candi.
When Zack was eight years old, we were raided and arrested in retaliation for stinging crooked cops. Jealous David drafted and signed affidavits in an attempt to imprison Candi and I for Endangerment of a Child. With a nasty emergency order in hand, he also took permanent custody of Zack. The court order claimed NeverGetBusted, KopBusters, and my marijuana use posed a grave danger to my son.
The claim was beyond atrocious because the weekend before his betrayal, David was a guest at our house. He smoked marijuana with me throughout his visit and snorted cocaine that he kept secreted in his shoe.
Everyone knew I had an indescribable love for Zack and kept a watchful eye over him just like the rest of my kids. Myself and others detected that David was an abusive father and we were suspicious he was molesting our son.
In an attempt to weed out the molester, I asked nine men in Zack's life to take a polygraph. I found it disturbing when David was the only person who refused to submit to the test.
I never stopped fighting to regain custody of my dream child. A year and a half of losing endless and rigged court hearings took its toll on Candi and I. We were desperate to protect Zack and regain custody. Ending his father's life seemed to be the last option.
I never could get comfortable with the idea of taking another man's life. I begged the Universe to show me another way because we tried the legal route and it failed us miserably. I never received a clear answer but thinking about the death disgusted me. It scared me. It disturbed me.
I also carefully considered the repercussions of killing another person. I added up all these feelings and considerations and the math told me to back out. I rolled out of bed and called off the hit.
We are all humans who share the same emotions. The difference is how each of us reacts to these intense feelings. Strong men think out the situation and react in a way to keep their family safe and out of vulnerable positions.
I am not ashamed for wanting to protect my son by killing another person if that's the only option. In my situation I never felt as if there was not going to be another way. I also think the disgust, fear and disturbed feelings I experienced were signals and messages telling me not to do it. I am glad I listened.
If there was ever a miracle in my life, it happened the next morning. I awoke and noticed David messaged me.
"Hey Barry, will you please ask Candi to call me. She will like what I have to say."
I shook Candi awake and she immediately made the call. David explained he was returning Zack back to us because he believed Zack was happier and healthier in our care. Within 12 hours of that call, Zack was back. We were happy but still in fear because David retained weekend visitation rights and the police continued their retaliation efforts.
Candi, my two daughters and myself quickly went to work and secretly sold thirty pounds of marijuana and all of our belongings. Within one month of Zack's return, we were on a cruise ship destined to Aruba.
I had prearranged a speedboat to motor us to Venezuela. Living in Venezuela would be safe because they do not have any extradition agreements with the United States. The threat of being imprisoned for Parental Kidnapping or our activism was neutralized.
We spent the next three years living in 23 different places throughout Venezuela and Brazil. We still lived in constant fear of the U.S. Marshals suddenly appearing to give Zack back to David and send us to prison.
Fortunately, my lawyer from Austin, Texas, James Gill, negotiated a deal with David and we were granted full custody of Zack. This removed the possibility of being arrested so we were able to move to Mexico. I will always be grateful to Attorney James Gill for helping us regain our freedom.
I unexpectedly and tragically lost Zack again two years later when Candi decided she was in love with a friend of ours who arrived from the U.S. for a visit. Before I knew it, Candi, Zack and my friend were flying away. They split up six months later and I'm not angry or bitter at either one of them. It was time for Candi and I to part. I wish both of them the best that life has to offer.
I learned Zack is living happily in Texas near my parents and is doing well. I love you son. You will always be my Lil' Pimp.
The indescribable pain of the sudden loss would have left me destitute but I followed the advice of the mystic guru and spiritual teacher, Osho. He explained the new and complete human is part scientist, part healer, and part artist.
I am a longtime fan of quantum physics and have decades of experience counseling and healing broken people. I already possessed number one and two of Oshos formula but was lacking in the art department. Although I am a practitioner of Rhetoric, which is the art of persuasion, I knew Osho was talking about something deeper. In that spirit, I decided to write and record a song.
Under the gift of pain, I picked the music and wrote the lyrics and chorus in only three days. It took months of practice and fine tuning to sing it the best I could. The song mentions everything I shared with you in this post.
I never believed writing and recording a song could be so healing and make such a big impact on my life. Listen to my song titled, "Slow Pimpin." If it makes you smile in any way, show your love by giving me an upvote.
Hit the play button and sing along with me and let's share our struggles and good times together.
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