"I just haven't succeeded, because this cat of 25 years is holding me back," was a statement I repeated to myself, as to why could not succeed, and support the things I love, like, Bitcoin Cash.
On the day Charles Manson died, my little, evil, friend also took that great journey to kitty heaven. 25 years, who can be that lucky?
Meet my excuse, Cat Astrophe M.
That was November 19th, 2017, and after she passed away, I should have had no other excuses to better my life. Instead, I used Astrophe's(she went by her middle name) death as my new excuse, and wallowed in some very extreme depression and downright laziness. Shortly after, her passing, Bitcoin markets crashed. I'm all in and live off of Cryptocurrency. I sank, very deep, into a massive depression, and obsessed over the Crypto Markets.
Why Aren't They Doing Something?
Bitcoin Cash is the Bitcoin. I knew Bitcoin was going to be the future, when I heard about it in late 2012, and purchased in early 2013. I couldn't understand why the Bitcoin Cash leaders, were not doing more to make people see that BCH is Bitcoin. I knew that BCH wasn't like the core trolls, and brainwashed core supporters, kept making it out to be. The more I kept asking, "why aren't they doing more?" The more, I was accepting defeat. I even started to gain a strong animosity to some of the Bitcoin Cash leaders, and mixed with the constant verbal attacks and bullying by the core supporters I started to hear the "they are scammers" narratives in my head,and mix in tweets like this:
You start to believe the narrative.
As I was growing up, my mom, had taught me, that I was always the last person to eat, sleep, and have fun, everyone else had to be taken care of, before myself. So when I see people enjoying meals, that likely, cost more than I spend on food for a month, mix in a bit of jealousy, and I start to question , "why are they not, giving that money, instead of wasting it?" It is not my, or anybody's, place to tell these people(in fact, I respect Craig and Calvin) how to live their lives, sp[end the money they earned, or even, how to save the world, but when I spend every dime I have on others before myself, pictures like this make my mental activism, and save the world mentality, spin wildly out of control. I want to grab them by the shoulders and yell, "stop being selfish, we have lives to save!"
In the end, these, or any, BCH leaders/gatekeepers can not take Bitcoin Cash to the next level, their reputations have already been tarnished by the Bitcoin Core's smear campaign, and no matter what a few RICH GUYS do, are going to save the world, or for that matter make Bitcoin Cash a success.
Dead Cat, Falling Markets and Them
So now, I have a bucket full of excuses. I can't take the talents, I do have, and get off my ass and do something for the good of Bitcoin Cash. I'm depressed because of my dead cat, the markets suck, and "they" aren't making it better for me. There was obviously something missing from this equation, and my thought process. I had no idea what that could be? It couldn't be me, I don't have talents. Right? Growing up, my dad called me, "shit for brains," so I obviously did not have any intelligence. My writing skills are atrocious, to your everyday English teacher. I overuse and under use punctuation, have great affection for run on sentences and really have no clue how to start or end paragraphs. My funds are at an all time low, so I couldn't just go and give everyone some BCH. Even if I could tell them the how great BCH is, how can I get them past the hate and vitriol oozing off the core supporters, and leaking all over us Bitcoin Cashers?
Psychological Barriers
Obviously, I had some major issues, and had to overcome them. Luckily, I always played armchair Psychologist, with my friends, and knew, deep down, what I had to do to break down these fears, anger and laziness and just "STAND UP."
I needed to remember, who I once was,I had always been a follower, and never really a leader. I was, OK with that. Even later on in some of my jobs I was forced into leadership positions, even though I didn't want them, and learned, very quickly in order to lead, you didn't tell people what to do, but instead showed them how easy it was to conquer the task at hand, and also accept your failures. If you want to take your talents and turn them into something that will save nearly 8 Billion people, by getting Bitcoin Cash into the hands of every living human being, then you have to be your own leader. The question is, can you overcome your fears and stop talking about doing it and just do it? Can YOU turn your abilities into something that will help Bitcoin Cash succeed, or are YOU going to wait for someone else to do it for YOU? If you wait for someone else to step up and do it, ask yourself, "will it get done?"
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I KNOW I'm Done Waiting
I know that I stopped waiting for someone else to SAVE Bitcoin Cash. I had to step up. I had to be ready to fail. My insecurities and my lack of confidence in my abilities needed to be overcome. I had to get the words, visions and knowledge that rattled in my head and get it out somehow, so I became the leader I needed to be and started making goals. I started getting the words out of my head and blogging about it. I had to start doing MY part.
What's Your Excuse?
Once I recognized it wasn't about my dead cat, I was thankful for every second I got with her. It wasn't about my fear of failure and fear of embarrassment. It wasn't about my vanishing money. It wasn't about anything, but a bunch of, made up, fears and what ifs that held me back.
So now I ask, "What is your excuse?" Don't spend all your time blaming it on a dead cat. Go out and find the Niche you can deliver to Bitcoin Cash, and be the success you are, and save the world.