I've been out of ideas lately. Trying to come up with just about anything produces almost nothing of value, and it feels like I'm on automation, doing simple chores, and feeling exactly like that's all I can do.

Not sure what caused it, but I could probably blame a bunch of factors of varying significance, that have steered me into this blank state. Maybe it's the recent pandemic, maybe the isolation from human contacts, other than the family, maybe it's the sad state of crypto, or the war that just broke out.

In the end, I feel like it's only me, only I, who could have done something differently.

Yeah, and I was sick too. We all were. For the whole of last week all of us; me, Vera and the boys had a sore throat, runny nose, were sneezing, coughing and pretty much feverish. It's over now, but I still seem to doze off several times a day with no reason.

The war

The war Russia started in Ukraine is tremendously stressing me out. We were planning to buy a house, and I was almost sure it could be possible, especially if the crypto prices were to rise they did before the war. Now I'm not at all comfortable with the idea of buying a house this close to Putin's Russia.

The prices have slowly started creeping up. We don't really notice it here in Finland yet, because for some reason, our prices have generally been astronomical compared to other places.

I was talking to the owner of a local chipper (a diner of sorts, a grill), and he told me that on his previous visit to Germany, he had made a note that the food prices were third of our corresponding prices in Finland, and revisiting them this year, the same prices had almost reached ours.

(Whoever thought high prices in general were a good idea was probably right. It can stall hyperinflation quite well. Up to a point, that is.)

Since I have a diesel car, I've been horrified for the recent price rises too. Last year the price of one liter of diesel was just under 2 euros, and after the war started, the prices have touched 2,7€ in some places. Yesterday the prices had come down a bit to 2,2€ so I filled up the tank.

I keep two jerry cans filled at all times, just in case. (I guess I've become a prepper of sorts.)

Dreams of electric

I'm dreaming of owning an electric car. And I might just be able to afford one, but I am a bit hesitant, because in case of a war, the infrastructure is just too easy to break, and I can't store electricity in a jerry can.

A part of me wants to leave Finland, and another part of me wants to stay. Having a family, I fear it is not even my decision to make. But if there is a possibility of a war, I pretty much find it the only option as Russia has shown a habit of waging a total destruction, instead of honoring any rules of engagement.

I am really hoping the war scenario doesn't actually happen. It would be terribly sad.

Puppies

Ninnu had a smal litter of puppies last weekend. She casually birthed the first one on my bed, ruining the bed cover sheets in the process. Her next puppies didn't come out that easily, and we ended up hurrying to the local veterinary clinic.

With a cesarean section, we were able to save one of the two remaining puppies. The one in between the first and last one had already had its placenta separated from the uterus, and had thus suffocated before the c-section.

All three puppies were male. Two brown ones, and the dead one was a beautiful little fawn colour.

Out of respect to the Ukrainians in these difficult times, the living two puppies got named Taras and Oleksi, after the Ukrainian poet Taras Shevchenko and playwright Oleksi Kolomijets.

The visit to the veterinary turned out to be very expensive, and I wasn't really sure if I could cover it. But I was lucky to have just about enough money in my account to cover the expenses after all.

A new piano teacher?

After Leo's previous teacher had moved away last year, Leo hasn't had a piano teacher, as they are proving to be quite expensive these days. He made such good progress, I am really hoping I could find a new one.

I've been trying to get him to post some of his playing on Hive, but for some reason he doesn't seem to be too interested.

A year ago, he created as a school project, a very nice video of himself playing Beethoven's Piano sonata 14, part 1. Even that one he didn't care to share with anyone but his school teachers and grand parents.

He is still playing though, and constantly finds and rehearses new songs off from the Internet. That, I am glad for, and makes me proud.

He has also picked up the guitar and is practicing chords as I am writing this.

I wish Miro would find an instrument of his liking too. He seems to be more interested in just playing video games.

I'm glad that both of them are very conscientious when it comes to school and homework. They always tend to do those immediately after school which is always a thing that makes me exceptionally proud of them.

Muffin

Muffin still hasn't been housebroken. I fear she will never learn it. I wonder if she is too small. I hear that small dogs sometimes have those kinds of problems, and should be given walks outside more often.

She's also very happy-go-lucky, no care in the world, spinning around and always shooting from place to place like a small rocket. One should never let her go free outside, because she might easily run in front of a car. Although... that's not really a problem since the strict keep-in-leash rules in Finland.

In conclusion

I'm still out of ideas, but I guess atleast I got some things off my chest.

I'm not sure if I remember it correctly, but someone once said to me, that writing a diary could help with structuring my life. I think I might be willing to give it a go. This one was a long one though. I don't know if it was helpful to anyone else, but I hope someone got something out of it. For me, I guess only time can tell.

See you guys in the next one! Cheers!