I was out last night with my cousin, and he mentioned how sick he is of meeting new people, since all new interactions will inevitably require some of those "getting to know each other" platitudes and bland, tasteless conversations: what do you do, do you like it, where do you go to school, etc.
And I got to thinking about that, since I'm just the same. I have very little patience for general chit-chat, and tend to lose interest quickly. Though I don't always cut someone off immediately. I have thing thing I do, where I'll go into auto-pilot, and talk to someone without really being there, and once you've gone into that phase, it's very difficult for me to regard you as an interesting person that I'd like to know better.
And I'm sure there are others like this, so why do we bother with these filler conversations, to begin with?
By society's standards, it's considered rude to forego them, but by our own personal ones, it seems nothing short of desirable. We live out our lives as social creatures following certain steps. Certain questions are considered rude or inappropriate when we don't know someone well enough, since they might not want to share such details with us. And yet... you don't truly care about someone's job, star sign, or any of those other template questions that we've devised for meeting new people. You want to see if there is compatibility on a deeper level, because it's that deeper connection that can sustain a relationship when minor differences arise. So why not cut straight to the chase and ask the uncomfortable questions? So as not to offend? But if they get offended, are they really a person you'd be compatible with, in the first place?
Another issue, I feel, is that we live in a fast-paced society, and it's getting faster by the minute. If fifty years ago, you could spend weeks getting to know someone without getting bored, now you can't afford that luxury, or at least, you think you can't afford that luxury.
We are constantly exposed to new people. In the real world. On social media. Through dating apps. Here, on the blockchain. We no longer have those few weeks to spare on every single person that crosses our path, which I think explains the very short patience levels people seem to have.
I remember some years ago talking to someone here, commenting how people in the real world don't hold a candle to people on the blockchain. And I remember one of the key arguments was that, on the blockchain, you talk about interesting, actually meaningful things, whereas in the real world, you do not. And we assume that this makes the people here vastly more interesting than the people out there.
But what if that's not the case? Here, we've dispersed with all the bland pleasantries and are cutting straight to the chase, practically forcing the matters that weigh most heavily on our minds out there, and getting specific answers that address our most pressing questions.
But that's because we've phrased the question differently, and are talking about real, important issues (at least for us). Perhaps if you were to meet that exciting, interesting person on Hive (the one you have all those great talks with) in the real world, your conversation would get bogged down by filler cliches, and you'd dismiss them as not interesting. The same person.
So maybe then it's not them, but us. If we've found a strategy that works here, on the blockchain, why aren't we implementing it IRL when meeting new people? Because we're afraid they'll misunderstand, get offended, or judge us. Yes, but why don't we harbor the same fears in regards to strangers on the blockchain? Precisely because it's not real life, and we are, as ever, protected behind our keyboard, so that no strangers here will be able to truly and substantially judge or reject us.
So is that worth a lifetime of dull conversation? Or should we just skip the small talk and discuss the things that truly matter while they still do?