As often as you can. Start anew. Every now at the time, decide for the better. Or worse. You do you, I ain't judging. ;)
I wanted to look back at the 2019 but realized I don't have enough material to work with, and, well, it is known that my memory is that of a goldfish, especially taking into consideration that you that starts the year is rarely ever the same you to finish it. Thus - This. Words. Records. Impressions. To keep them, to look back at them, to reminisce and evaluate. To see the distance, the difference, all the shifts in realities.
Bad, bad planning on my part, but that's the thing with streaks, isn't it? The fact that you've done so good on one day doesn't mean jack shit as soon as it hits those zeros - you got to start it all over again, be smart about it not to leave it to the last minutes. Front-load. Always front-load.
That's the other side of a clean slate. None of what you have done previously counts for anything. That's all old news. You have to keep focusing and working on what you want to achieve over and over again. Especially if your outer reality does not effortlessly reinforce what you want by mere observation. And even then, one slip of your energy, one mindless misstep, "an accident" and you're crumbling, spiraling down.
How's my face doing? Some of you may wonder. Same-same.
Moving on to phase three - going meta. 1h meditations for January. Will keep you posted.
2019 has clearly been work focussed. Taking up all the responsibility and failing at delivering any results. But that dynamic nearly deserves a whole new post of its own. A whole process of its own to deal with it.
In exactly 2 weeks from now, I'm picking back up dances. Haven't been to belly dances the whole of 2019 and it's high time to get back in there. I've got a whole bunch of insecurities to still work on, so no time to waste. And no, that's not a New Years' resolution, it's just me being back into a place where I fell like that's just .. obvious. I have to dance. I have to keep working on myself.
What are you excited about and looking forward to?
Song on a loop: Fly me to the moon but it's playing in a different room and it's raining