I was so concerned with being single, having few friends, being tan, finding approval from others. It led me into rushing into relationships that were unhealthy just so I can tell people I am in a relationship. I used to throw my tennis matches because I had so much anxiety that I would rather lose than try to win.
Today, I embrace the weird, I stopped trying to feminize myself just because some guys say I don’t “fit” their subreddit. I don’t care if I get a little tan if it means I get to work on my cardio by swimming. I try to meditate every night to fight insomnia caused by anxiety and hypomania. I am currently pursuing someone without rushing it as it’s more valuable to make good friends rather than jumping into romance.
Yes, I’m not the most popular model or cosplayer in the country but frankly, that doesn’t matter. I have a small circle of supporters on Patreon and they make me very happy with their support. Plus, I am finally writing again, except there’s a chance I can actually do this full-time.
I don’t know what will change in the next 10 years, hopefully, my income would be much more stable. I might have my own apartment and studio set with an office. Maybe I would be in a long term relationship, maybe even married.
I will do my best to take each day as they come and always put my emotions and mental heallth first.
