Based on observations and experience.
Have you ever known someone, who enjoys breaking people up? Like the moment he or she sees a potential partner and finds out that they are taken, the games begin. This is one of the common themes among Ukrainian females. We were raised with a post war syndrome that includes a belief that there aren’t enough man for everyone. Technically this is something common for a lot of post war countries but in here especially since there was a long period of revolutions and wars. This leads to females heading out for predominantly brutal type of man, in a firm belief that this is a sign of a man, masculinity and safety. The raise of aggressive behavior and home violence proves that the brutality doesn’t stay outdoors only, especially if the man isn’t satisfied with his work and life in general. With addition to this the war that’s happening in here right now which also triggered all the bad in people.
But to get back to the subject on females who go for somebody taken. A few of them that I have spoken to will do all they can to protect the idea that this guy was the one, that they liked him, and even “he’s mine”. They will listen to the guy, show how much they care about their needs and wants. Prove that they are better. Better then whom? Now here is the trick. Most of this ladies wont tell you that when the guy will leave his other partner, they will loose interest. Why does this happen? In the core- because there is no more competition. The competition is what drives them, challenges and gives a thrill, not the actual person or the relationship on it’s own. Majority of them, if you will dig deeper, still compete with their mothers or an early relationship memory, when they were left for someone else. At the same time they will treat their lady friends poorly, gaslight or gossip, disrespect and show signs of jealousy. And fear, fear that somebody is better then them. Toxic? Primarily yes. Treatable? Of course, if they will recognize their own unhappiness, or actually feel it and at the same time stop blaming others. Rarely but actually happens.
On the bright side, if you did recognize your friend right now, you can talk to them and say that you feel uncomfortable about things they are doing or saying to you. But be ready to get a rage wave, and evaluate the relationship on it’s own. And also take care of yourself, you might care about the person at front of you but you cannot care about them more then you care about yourself.
As for the “wreckers”, girls it’s ok if you are one of them. We all have our traumas and weaknesses. We all play out according to our scripts until they no longer serve us. Seek help, find your own happiness, without the hunt, or with one for someone who you can be happy with. And thrive.
Have an awesome day guys.
PS Yes, i look tiered, it's been a difficult time with my clients, loads of depressions and anxieties. Might post something about home tools for dealing with these matters. what do you think?
