The air conditioner hasn't shut off in awhile.
That's OK. I'm just grateful that it isn't broken. A lot happened today.
Bills are paid, errands are run and I tried to drink fresh vegetable juice. I did drink fresh vegetable juice. I lived.
Hustle. Hustle. Hustle.
I listened to motivational videos on YouTube while I was at work. Hustle. Hustle. Hustle. Make it happen. And I get it. I do.
But you know what? I'm tired. I can't push myself like that. I can't work from 9pm to 2am after a 10 hour day at the day job just because I have to get ahead. The body doesn't let me, you know what I'm saying? I envy those that can.
Am I doomed because I can't?
I read about YouTubers burning out because they are just creating so much content, just to keep up, just to make a few $$$ here and there. I don't want to be jerked around by algorithms if I start making videos.
Are we jerked around by algorithms here on Steemit or does everyone really have a fair chance? I don't know the answer to that question.
Circles of Money
When does it end? We're the only species on the planet that pays to live. Your entire quality of life is determined by whether or not you have enough money. Doesn't matter how awesome you are.
I read an article today about "waterless villages" in India. How people fight over water. Forget rent money! WATER!
The gift-economy is feeling like more and more that maybe it's really the way I need to go. Use what I need and give away the rest. For some to transition fully to that, it's a process. Our political and legal systems do not help. (This is true for those of us who have air conditioning and for those who don't have running water.)
Credit for Today
- I showed up.
- I drank raw unfiltered, unsweetened fresh vegetable juice. Twice.
- I accomplished all the things on my list today.
- I did some freewriting.
- I educated myself on other worldly affairs and felt shame at complaining about how uncomfortable my office chair sometimes is when there are people who literally are only focused on finding enough water just to live.
- For reminding myself, I don't get to be afraid anymore.
I'm Tired
And that's OK. I reserve my right to be tired and to take care of myself. I reserve my right not hustle constantly. That has to be OK.
The dog climbed up onto my chest and laid his head there and looked me straight in the eyes. "Turn the computer off now mom. It's time to just be."
And I think I will take his advice.
Image Source: Unsplash