Since making the post about my husband's upcoming birthday, I've lost four followers. That's the most I've lost in that short amount of time so far.
But you know what? That's okay.
I was expressing (though maybe poorly) that I wish I could make my husband's birthday special, and because I don't really see how can, I'm not looking forward to him having another shitty birthday.
Yeah, I was griping about money. Because money is something we're in great need of. Something that makes navigating the other hardships in our lives even harder. I was also expressing my frustration with the difficulty of other potential ways I could try to make his birthday special. I wasn't begging. I wasn't asking for help. I was expressing how shitty and frustrating it is.
I love my husband very much. My husband works his ass off to provide for me, and with all the meds I take, that is not cheap. We are barely surviving, and our whole situation weighs very heavily on him. I'm not looking forward to his birthday because I'm not looking forward to another birthday where he won't be properly celebrated for the amazing man that he is. For the amazing things that he does. For how hard he works to provide for us and the cats. I'm not looking forward to another of his birthdays where we can't celebrate and for just that day, forget about all of the bad things.
I will never pretend to be someone I'm not on here. I am who I am and you can take me or leave me. Your choice.
I'm not sorry for feeling this way about it. And I'm not sorry for expressing how I feel about it.
These are supposed to be blogs, right? Well this is me. Blogging.