I'm putting the engagement into becoming the greater version of myself. I don't want to say I'm trying to be the best version of myself, because I don't know where that limit is. If I'm focused on just being greater or better than I was yesterday, I'm succeeding. I feel the difference in myself. I'm learning more and more about me and what motivates me. I still am unsure of what I want to do with my future. I trickled into the idea of going to school to become a school psychologist because I went through a lot bullying going through school, and I think it's important for students to have an unbiased adult to talk to. I'm not sure how strong this wanting to become a school psychologist is but I feel a lot of love towards it. I'm still not sure what my super power is to share with the world. I know I want to help people. I feel like I have the gift of healing. I know my hands have the power to heal. I want to feel like I'm contributing to society. I want to give because I've been given to already.
I think I want to move to California with Mikayla and Kat. However, I want to find my own way. I need to decide what it really is I want. I want all these different things, however those things keep changing like the ocean tides. What do I have to discover within me to actually choose something and pursue it? Is that what finding out what motivates me comes into play? Should I really be trying to go back to school to play basketball to get a degree when I'm not exactly too sure what I want? Do I keep trying different things until things just feel like they're making sense and sticking? I'm quite a superficial person, and nothing is wrong with that. I love researching things I want to know more about, however will never quit dive deeper unless it's in regards to my relationship, where I'm trying to make things work. Does that make sense at all? I went very deep when it came to non-monogamy, and also trying to learn how to better handle all the pain and trauma. I also dove deep into veganism and learned a lot about that. I wanted to write a book about athleticism and veganism. However, that's not really me.
Whatever it is I choose to make a living with needs to be spiritually fulfilling.
I've been taking a lot of interest in astrology and divination. Which is what's a part of my spirituality and I always feel fulfilled whenever I'm learning about it. I love lifting heavy things, however I don't think I could ever make it a job or career, simply because it is so demanding on my body. Although, it may get to the point where Raging Fire gets a house in California and we put a gym together and we film out of it and develop a good following. We'd even have our own clothing line. I feel like the more we talk about it, the more and more we'll will it into existence. It could happen. Anything is possible. That would seriously be a dream come true for us all. How amazing would that be? Training would take place in the afternoons. During the day I could be doing something that spiritually fulfills me. What would that be? Helping kids cope with bullying? Teaching mindfulness to the young children and teaching self love at a young age so they don't have to go through a lot of the mental struggles everyone else has gone through already? The future lies within our children. They're the real healers. If today's healers can guide the children healers, the world will change for the greater good. I am going to start to look into children psychology. This is starting to make a lot of sense to me now. Time to get started!