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I think every single, widowed, divorced or separated woman would agree with me that it’s tiresome having to defend our single status. Society makes the single female very conscious of her status; I am at the stage in my single journey, whereby the surprise looks, innuendos, raised eye-brows and side comments no longer irritate my spirit. They are rather amusing but fleeting observations of another human being’s judgement of me. We are single women, plain and simple…just for the record, I’m no superwoman guard that resisted submissiveness to the ex, no, I was not caught doing jass (witchcraft), or with another man in the room, no, we were not due to me lacking domestic skills. As a matter of fact, my sweet fried rice and quality African soup dishes were license for my ex to invite his boys over for dinner. By the way, I was not a pest that drove his pals at bay either, as I actually love to entertain. Some of my best male bro’s are friends of my ex, some whom have looked out for me, big time! Thanks and enough respect. The simple truth of the matter is that it just did not work out. I am not claiming to be perfect and I have discussed at length with various classes of single women, none of whom blame their singlehood on the other party, but who also share the simple notion that things did not just jell. In all veracity, we admit to being complex women with flaws, longings and uncertainties. The qualm in mine and I have obviously moved on. Some folks are so baffled and confused as to why a ‘fine’ gal such as me should be single? Since when did good looks and a pretty face have any depth when it pertains to issues such as love and commitment? Besides, I am just your average babe, who’s good at enhancing my rather peculiar facial features! Anyone heard of Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Mel B, Vivica A. Fox, Janet Jackson? Just to mention a few ‘fine’ divorced and/or single women.
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Think about it a bit deeper for one sec…there are loads of men out there looking to hang on to a good woman, such as yours truly for one reason or the other. I even have men seeking to marry me for a U.S and/or U.K citizenship. I just confused you huh? Them lot throw me off balance too. The sheer audacity! Don’t sweat my single status for me, because I really am ALWAYS blessed of God, the giver of all good life benefits, in multiples-offspring, talents, citizenship, scholastic and professional achievements. I have friends that are single whose desire it to re-marry and they have…some twice over! Proving that to find a man for the sake of jumping the single-ship is not exactly rocket science or that difficult a quest. I am asking however for grace and wisdom to continue in true love abundantly, avoid rebound romances and serial monogamy. Thus far, I have somewhat succeeded in keeping my head above the murky waters of another abortive liaison. Having fully achieved all of the above, only then will I contemplate it a great time for a new start. I’m outta here, realizing that one succeeds in most shaky situations by stepping out of fear into (eventual) freedom. Most my single sisters (and brothers) invariably identify with a feeling of liberty – the liberty to re-marry/co-habit/go-steady or NOT! We should know the reason why we entering a relationship, so we don’t get the wrong partner.