From a Thug to a King
A couple of weeks ago I was invited to speak at The African American Boys Youth Conference at UMES. At first I didn’t even think I was qualified to speak at this event. I use to think you had to have 101 accolades to make a major impact. I’m a guy who has no college degree, has spent time in prison, and has lived a destructive lifestyle. On paper it would seem that I don’t have what it takes to sit at the same table as the presenters of the conference. Now that I think about it, who would you rather have teach you something? Someone who only knows about your struggle through reading a book? Or someone who has already gone through the issues you currently face?
When I first pulled up to the college I began to feel chills. I have performed music in front of hundreds of people at one time before. This would actually be my first time giving a lecture mixed with my poetry in front of a group of young men. When I think about how I was when I was a teenager, I was kind of expecting an unpredictable audience. I also felt nervous because of the other great speakers who were going to be there for the weekend.
Faith Walk
I walked into the building and instantly began to interact with everyone I saw. My personality is naturally friendly which is a gift I often use to lower my anxiety. Also, I figure it was a good idea to get to know the people I was going to be giving my presentation to.
The thing that really surprised me was when two of the young men recognized me from two other events I was invited to perform at earlier this year. One of the boys even asked me to perform a poem they liked that I performed before. When that happened I got very comfortable about them. I still wasn’t 100% confident in what was going to happen. In that moment I just wanted to get to know the guys and see how they operate and think.
Show Time
The title of my presentation was called “Protect Your Heart.” The main message I wanted to get across to everyone was how important it is to not let your feelings totally control your actions. I know too many people who have gotten into so much trouble because they let how they feel put them into situations that were hard to get out of. When I think about people’s issues with child support, prison, STDs, broken hearts, poverty, violence, etc. I can see how peoples emotions can cause plenty of destruction.
One of the coordinators asked me to go first and I was cool with that. I remember preparing for the event by writing a bunch of notes and key points. I even wrote a small speech in preparation. When it was time to hit the stage I was unable to stick to my script because of the excitement. I think I even missed some key points I wanted to touch on. By the end of the day, my mistakes didn’t even matter.
All of the boys were very responsive and very respectful. Another thing that surprised me was when I asked everyone if they still believed in CDs. More than half of the room raised their hands. In this digital age I was thinking that CDs were obsolete to teenagers. I was excited and proud to be able to give everyone a demo of my music. Overall my presentation was a success even though I missed about half of what I wanted to talk about.
A Few Good Men
After the event I was able to converse with the men who spoke that evening. Guys like Devon Beck, Jermichael Mitchel, and Robert Thomas helped to give me a whole new perspective on life.
There is a universal rule that says if you hang out with 5 millionaires you will eventually be the 6th one. The same thing applies with if you hang out with 5 drug dealers or 5 drug abusers. If who you spend your time with determines the outcome of your future then these are the types of people I’d love to surround myself with.
I left the college feeling good and bad at the same time. Feeing good because I got through my fears of teaching a bunch of teenagers. I was also feeling good because I just knew that this was a major growing point in my life. I only felt bad because I was thinking that I missed a good point that I forgot to present to the group.
To My Surprise
A few days later I reached out to Jermichael and he told me he was speaking to one of the boys from the group. He had asked the boy what he learned from the conference. Guess what he said? The boy said he learned to PROTECT HIS HEART. I honestly was unsure what kind of impact I left that day. The only reason I felt like that was because of the accolades and accomplishments of what the other presenters brought to the table. This experience proves to me that when you believe in yourself you can accomplish whatever you want.
Before you count yourself out be sure to at least try. If you don’t try then you will always be stuck in wonderland. Now I have hope that my past is not as important as what I believe in right now. Rapper Jay Z once mentioned in an interview about him coming from a background of selling drugs and no degrees. Even though this is true, he still felt like he belonged in a room full of CEOs. I would never discredit what you can accomplish if you go to college. What I am doing is simply highlighting the power of self belief.
Conclusion
For the longest time I thought I was trapped and doomed to live a thug life and die in the streets. I only saw that for myself because that’s what I saw with my people while growing up. The only problem with that is, it never matched up to what I felt for myself deep in my heart. Yes I may have went down a very self destructive path, but I have very few regrets. I went from living the life of a thug and turned that story into empowerment. I know I don’t had the worst story ever but this is my story. And if this has helped the one kid at the youth boys conference then I’ve done my job.