The “Magic Paper” is probably the second most important aspect of the political world.
The first one of course is the ability to match the number of breaths you take with the lies that comes out of your mouth.
In short, the magic paper is a document that you can hand out to any person, to anyone in the world and the minute they touch it… They get injected with some sort of secret wisdom serum.
And withing seconds, you become the smartest, the wisest, and the most skilled individual in the entire country.
Even if prior to that day, you were always known for your lack of aptitude.
Take George W Bush for example, when his mother Barbara was put in charge of education and literacy, comedians couldn’t stop making jokes due to the obvious irony of the situation.
“Barbara Bush’s assignment was getting children to read. Remember that? Getting children to read. They figured she had had so much success with George that she would be a natural to get children to read, which misses the point completely.” ― George Carlin
This is why people keep getting surprised every national elections, and keep wondering how come it’s only the most incompetent (and sometimes the dumbest) candidates that always make it to the top.
The answer is very simple: The magic paper.
Do you want to run the federal reserve or the central bank without having any previous finance experience? Not to worry, touch this magic paper right here.
Do you want to run the ministry of sports without understanding a single thing about sport nor health? Don’t worry, we have a paper for you too.
Even soldiers have a magic paper. The minute they enlist, their intelligence levels immediately skyrockets through the roof. And in one instant, they simply become the best and the brightest.
Or as George Bush calls it… The breast and the brightest.
NASA scientists have got nothing on those guys. Maybe we should give them some of those magic papers too, if we ever plan to see some development in the space program.
When you look at the magic paper, it doesn’t really look like much but don’t let its normal appearance deceive you.
Though it may look like a normal piece of paper, it seems to contain some magic properties that are invisible to the naked eye.
But if at any time, it happens to be touched by a human hand it has the power to turn complete ignorance to supreme wisdom.
It’s hasn’t always been a paper, but it always was magic. Let me give you an example.
For some periods of human history it was the magic sword, if some king touches your shoulder with a magic sword you immediately become a knight, and instantly acquire all the attributes that come with it.
Rulers themselves are often touched by magic stuff, usually a crown of some sort. An object which if they pass to their descendants, those too get injected by all kinds of awesome skills as well.
History books are no stranger to monarchs who were born with severe cognitive defects, children with special needs, and even princes who were breastfed until the age of six.
You would think that those kids can’t even take care of themselves let alone lead an economic committee… You would be right.
Yet they always ruled over everyone else. How does that happen?
One can speculate but maybe what we thought modern politics was is now starting to look a lot like ancient superstition.
Maybe after all this time, we come to the realization that we never left that Platonic cave at all.