It's like every time I ride the bus lately, demerits fall.
This time it was the driver!
Now, I don't know every nook and cranny of how the bus system works. I just know that when it takes two busses to get to your destination, you can ask for a "transfer", and they give you a little slip of paper, and you show it to the next bus and you don't have to pay again.
(Presumably they mark the piece of paper in a way that captures the date and how long it's good for etc. I don't know the exact parameters of it. I just know that the "transfer" is a thing and is totally standard and uneventful and I do it every time.)
So I get on the bus and ask for a transfer, and she's reluctant about it. She says "I can't guarantee we make it in time", and grudgingly does rip me off a transfer.
Wat?
I react kind of like some dogs do when you talk to them, with the tilted head but no way to respond.
Like wtf, I just don't get that at all. It's not like there's one single connecting bus and it's do-or-die to not miss that one. They come every half hour, and it wasn't close to the end of the day. And there's actually 2 different routes I could take. (And you don't even know what route I'm trying to connect to anyways.)
So there's no "making it in time". That's not a thing. We get there when we get there, and then I get on a bus. There's nothing to make or not make.
So I'm chillin, rockin' out, it's me and 3 moms. And I guess 3 children but I think one of the moms may have just had the accessories, like the stroller and all the hubbub, and not a child.
One of the moms may have been a grandma.
Michael Jackson and Elton John are playing and I'm involved with that little boy from the pic, like he looks at me and laughs and then I laugh, and he hides behind the seat and pops out and then it's even funnier and stuff like that. (Like the kind of thing that would look like I'm going out of my way to entertain him or to be the guy who plays with kids, but really I'm just on his level and get it and am unadulterated in my own right and engaged here.)
And then they're waving at me getting my attention, telling me that the bus driver is talking to me.
Oh, lol.
Driver speaks to me and doesn't appreciate how much noise the bus is making and is more or less inaudible, but one of the passengers who is up closer translates, "I think she's asking if you need a transfer".
Didn't she just give me one?
And I'm like "Oh.. well I dunno, I think I have one right?" And I tell her what routes I'm trying to transfer to. (As far as I know the transfer she gave me isn't specific to any route, and the driver on the next bus will see the time stamp she punched. So her job is done and I don't get what the question could be.)
And she says something about needing "the central" or "the south", which aren't words that I've ever heard before as it relates to this bus system. (What I'll be doing is I walk off this bus about 20 feet over to another bus that has the number 5 on it. It's very easy.)
So I look at the mom who helped get my attention, like "wtf is she saying to me" and she shakes her head like "hell if I know".
So that's weird. But I'm not lost, I wasn't looking for help, I know exactly where I'm going and what bus I need. So -- whatever -- just go back to it being any other bus ride.
Suddenly the moms all get off at this one stop (I don't think they knew each other, I think they just happened to all get off there), and one of them is like "she's asking for you again".
She was asking for me again!!!
Why?
This time I just walk up to the front of the bus -- if something is really so important I may as well be able to hear her.
As I walk up I'm telling her again where I'm going.. kind of like waiting for whatever the fuck her point is, lol. And I guess she didn't really have one, all she did is motion to sit down.
And she tells me "You need to leave your ear buds out."
Haaahaha.
As tho that's just like a normal statement and not controversial.
And there is where she steps in it and earns a demerit.
It was fairly pleasant the way she said it. It just isn't a reasonable request.
(In a way it's sort of scary that she could say such an unreasonable thing in such a pleasant way.)
So many ways to respond and ways that this could branch.
"...I like listening to music", I told her.
(It's really hard to argue with that.)
"Well, I'm sorry, but it makes our job harder", she says.
Wrong.
If I was a disturbance, I'd be making your job harder. I owe it to you to not bother you or bother other passengers, but I don't need to be on-call to be talked to if you randomly want to instruct me (when I know where I'm going and nothing you say makes sense or helps at all).
I could be deaf, and I'm perfectly allowed to ride the bus, and it doesn't then become harder for you to safely operate the bus.
You just need to rethink what actually is your job, and what's you being weird.
(Note that I did nothing, ever, to indicate that I was looking for help or didn't know where I was going. So in her mind nobody ever should be listening to music on the bus, just in case out of nowhere the driver wants to talk to you.)
I laughed, like just sincerely finding it funny that in her mind it works like that. And I told her not to worry about me and that I'm fine and can figure it out (and put my earbuds 🎧 back in obv).
It was way on the congenial end of my range.
I was more using myself as an illustration, like "me" proverbially, like this is how it works, that passengers don't need to forego listening to music in case you randomly want to hag them. But I didn't dig in at all or anything. It could be taken as just expressing my need or sharing my end of it.
I'm happy with my line of responses, in terms of like being a good soul. More of a zinger would have been fun, but she's probably used to that. Just stating my needs both times might be new and probably has more chance to help her see it correctly.
All that's really important is to not dignify it, like don't say "oh okay" or "oh sorry" or whatever and leave your headphones out. Don't let her take you to hell. Any version of rejecting her request is fine.
The kindest ways of rejecting her request are probably strongest.
I wondered a tiny bit if I just kept not hearing her and there actually was some weird thing going on and her behavior would all make sense somehow.
But no. We pull in, and there's the 5 bus waiting. And I walk onto it and show them the transfer and it's just like every other time.
Crazy.