The idea of God is probably the most wide spread one and very often the most distorted as there are almost as many images of God as the inhabitants of Earth. Even since I was a child I believed in God and imagined having a relationship with him and kind of knowing what it is about. Mostly from my grandmas and some school lessons.
As I grew up this relationship and belief evolved and at some point I got even more curious about it, thus I started reading the Bible, but never managed to read the whole of it. It was interesting what I read, but I felt more like it was a story and I didn't want any more stories. From then I kinda considered that I know enough about God and was happy with my knowledge and beliefs. Never was a religious person, but neither couldn't believe that it is all randomly happening without any logic in it.
That logic was what I consider God's secret mathematics.
Generally God is seen and understood through a religion or a spiritual tradition and according to these the believers have an image about him and different techniques to getting in contact with God or reasons to fear him. I use him because that's the general idea around him, that is a he out there in most of the cases. These religions or traditions are like knives that can help you slice bread, free yourself from being roped or kill another human being. It is all in the hand of the user.
The article is not about religion, spiritual practices, wars involving spiritual believes and witches burned alive so I'm not getting into that. I just wanted to point that the general idea about God is usually created by such large groups of people, books read by them and quoted and their influential leaders. With some rare exceptions.
Continuing with my experience and mental image about God it is the college years when I felt that I need to find out more about the subject. Wasn't satisfied with my knowledge and the general image pictured in Christianity so I started my search into Hinduism, if I can call it like that. Bought and read books like Bhagavad Gita and the Upanishads which served me with other images of God and even more Gods and Deities, but couldn't say that I was satisfied and ready to say that yes now I now know.
I continued though for a few years with a mix in my head of Hindu, christian and other oriental terms and believes that were cluttering more my search of finding some meaning of God rather than clearing my views. But it wasn't yet the end of it. I still had to read more and understand more as I wasn't fully convinced by none of them.
One day a friend of mine who knew that I'm into this kind of literature recommended my a book called I am that by Nisargadatta Maharaj. Another Hindu one that has 500 pages and is not even wrote by this Nisargadatta. The book is actually a translation of the recordings of him talking to people all over the world about what he calls That or the Ultimate Reality, very rarely calling it God. I started reading this book and agreed with 99% of what this simple Indian man was saying there. I really felt like this is the best and simplest way of describing what I was looking for.
Probably that's why I read almost all of his books three times in a row. His "teachings" are actually his own experience and wisdom, but very similar with what the Advaita Vedanta talks about. He always took away the attention of his visitors from the personal "I" to the impersonal, calling that the real Self and the Ultimate Reality that is in everything seen and unseen by the human eye and could never be understood through mental concepts and discriminated as good or bad.
Such wisdom is spread around the world nowadays through spiritual teachers like Mooji and Eckhart Tolle that describe our true Self as what we very often call God never separating it from ourselves by stepping into duality. It is probably this concept of non duality that attracted me that much about such wisdom as I tend to consider that there is no angry or happy God punishing humanity or re compensating it for good deeds and that everything happening in every possible Universe has its "logic". A "logic" beyond our understanding, but far from having any imperfection.
Diving as deep as I could into this non dualism point of view I coulnd't say that I understood what God is or that I can preach anything about it, but it helped me unlearn what I thought I knew and that was the gem that I unconsciously was searching. It's an indescribable certainty in something that can't be described that fascinates me and makes me trust in saying that what's mine is yours and what's your is mine. And I'm not talking about anything personal or touchable.
It has nothing to do with religion or any belief, but in the end all of them point to it. Nothing is ever out of it or misplaced and no mental concept can grasp it and own and sell that at the market. It is ever present, conscious and a total mistery and the best way to describe it is through the neti neti Hindu negation. Or... I am not this not that.
Source of images: https://pixabay.com/