Listening is an art.
Those with whom one is born, and those who are learned. There are no excuses.
We confuse hearing with listening; we hear involuntarily, but listening requires voluntariness, willingness and receptivity.
But I make another differentiation: "listen", to dry, in front of "listen actively." We not only listen to the other person but listen beyond what is said. It requires an implication of all the senses; it is "listening from emotion".
Requires willingness to listen, and 100% of attention; avoid distractions.
Have empathy: the ability to put yourself in the other person's place.
Synchrony: adopt a position and emotional state consistent with that of the other person, adapting the tone and voice modulation, the message, etc.
Avoid value judgments: each value judgment you issue will be a step back in the other person's emotional openness. Nobody likes to feel judged. Have you ever thought about who you are to judge anyone?
Have emotional awareness, know and understand our own emotions to understand the emotions of others.
To adequately combine verbal, non-verbal and emotional information. Yes this is the hardest part. Requires attention to the words, gestures, looks, body movements and what is not said, but is at the bottom of those words: emotion.
The process of listening from emotion is closely related to our emotional intelligence. People with greater empathy, social ability and social and emotional awareness have more facility to establish this type of listening. As Stephen Covey says, "Listening requires emotional strength." Listening requires having highly developed qualities of character such as patience, being open and wanting to understand.
"Listening is more important than talking, if this were not true, God would not have given us two ears and one mouth." Robert Kiyosaki "