I want to share with you a story of someone precious in my life that I have heard maybe a thousand times by now while writing it, but it never, ever gets bored!
Every parent has different ways to learn their children about norms and values, and every parent may have different ways to raise their own children. This is a good thing, because every child is different and even in one family different children may need different approaches when it comes to punishment of "bad" behavior. There is nothing wrong with that, if you ask me.
Having that said, as a mother of 3 children, I can tell you from my own experience that all three of them are different in many ways. With my youngest child I have tried about every trick from my magic box of punishments, but actually she seems immune for every one of them. She is a tough one, let me tell you that. And I actually am out of tricks sometimes, while I really thought my two oldest children had made me find an answer to every kind of behavior by now. But I am up for the challenge, when my smallest precious child will put me to the test of good parenting.
For one thing that did not happen yet in her almost two year old life on this planet, I already know how I will be handling that behavior, if she ever dares to try to do that.
And let me tell you, I am often out of facial expressions when she is naughty, and even more often am I out of ways to correct her, and making sure she will never try to do so again.
But back to my trick in the magic box, that has been there ever since I heard this story.
What are you talking about woman? Well, I mean: stealing! Let me first explain that I do not expect my children to become thieves, as me and my boyfriend are absolutely not thieves ourselves. But I am convinced that people get infected by whom they are hanging around with, and especially children can be vulnerable to that. So in the back of my mind I guess I will always have the option opened that she will try to steal something in her childhood years. So if she does, I actually hope she gets caught so I can play a little trick on her as her punishment for this.
You sure would like to know what I am talking about, right? Here it comes. This is the story of a young child about 6 years of age, who actually was a pretty good kid, that listened to his parents pretty well. Let's just say his parents did a wonderful job of teaching him norms and values, and some of them are 30+ years later still in his memory as if it happened yesterday. And one of those stories that I love is this one that will immediately will teach a child not ever to dare to steal, ever, again after getting caught! While I'm writing it down, I secretly hope that my two year old will be the first two year old thief that gets caught, so I can punish her this way.
You believed I meant that? Well, sorry to dissappoint you, I was actually joking. I hope she will never steal, and if she tries it will be right under my nose.
What had happened to that sweet 6 year old that was a good child most of the times?
He had been walking around the neighborhood and there was a little greengrocer right around the corner of his house. He came there very often with his mother, and he was known very well by the greengrocer himself, and the customers. In the neighborhood they lived in was a big sense of social control by the neighbors. He should have realized this before trying to steal something, but I guess he was a bit too young to think of that himself at that time.
And there it was, that beautiful red shiny strawberry, that was almost calling him to come have a closer look. It was the most delicious strawberry he had ever seen in his young life. He could not resist the 8th commandment: Thou shall not steal! He just had to get closer, and when he did, he was mesmerized by it, this strawberry had his name on it. There was no doubt about it, they were a match made in heaven! How else could it be that he saw this beautiful red little piece of fruit today? This could not be a coincidence. Right there and then it happened, the little boy committed his first crime ever. He could not leave his precious strawberry there at the greengrocer, knowing that this was to be his date for today. No no, he took it and he ate it in only one firm bite! Thinking that nobody could have seen this intimate moment of joy with his new love.
So he walked his 2 minute walk back home, where his father was waiting for him in the door opening. He felt something was off right then and there. His father looked at him, and asked: "So what have you been up to little boy?". He got a bit nervous and he whispered: "nothing". Knowing he was busted. His father said: "So you did not just eat that strawberry at the greengrocer?" The little boy immediately admitted his first crime ever, not knowing at that time that his aunt had seen him take it just minutes ago, and she went there to tell his father right away. He found this out years after the crime had occurred, actually.
His father told him to go to his room, and he would hear the punishment tomorrow. The next day the father told him he would have to pay the greengrocer his allowance for the next 10 weeks. And not only he had to pay his whole amount of allowance every week, but he had some extra rules set up with it too. This may have been the worst things for him to do, actually. He had to go to the greengrocer every Saturday afternoon, when the shop was filled with customers, and he had to wait for his turn in the row of customers. By the time the greengrocer would ask him what he could do for him, he was told to say these words: " I am here to pay my allowance for stealing that 1 strawberry". And then the greengrocer would sometimes ask him (if he would not speak up as load that everyone in the shop could hear him) "What did you say?". And then he would repeat the same sentence.
This one strawberry was the most expensive strawberry a person can ever buy in his life, as it had cost him 10 weeks of allowance.
As he grew older he never dared to steal again. The voice of his father telling him to go to the greengrocer 10 weeks in a row to pay his allowance was not to be neglected. He went there all the weeks as he was told, and every week again he appeared to arrive at the most busy hours as the shop was filled with customers. Every week again he had red cheeks from being ashamed, and every week the greengrocer would kindly take his allowance. Looking back on this crime in his adult life, he had realized that his father may even had a deal with the greengrocer to give him a sign when the shop had plenty of the neighbors waiting in line, to make sure he would be even more ashamed. This was how his dad handled teaching the children a lesson. And probably the greengrocer gave the father back the allowance every week, but the little boy never found out for sure. His dad took these secrets to the grave with him.
But as I have seen what an impact this had on that boy, now to be called an adult, I knew this will be the one I use too, if one day one of my children would be thinking about a career as a thief.
His father deserves a medal for this punishment if you ask me, I will not only use this same punishment, but I will also keep the story alive. He gets a 10 for originality, right?
AnoukNox
This story is my submission to the #bycolemancontest to be found in this post.
Hopefully you enjoyed reading it, and upvoting / resteeming is very much appreciated!