I asked myself many times Did he leave me or I leave him?
Really, I leave it to him! It was a long work and I do not even know when I'm a moment, I mean the date or the year, if I know exactly when I smoke the last cigarette, thank God, because that if I can affirm it, without God I can not do anything!
One day I started telling myself when I woke up and when I looked in the mirror. "I love you Pilar" and surely many times I told him with a cigar in my mouth; in meetings with friends we fixed the date and time and I told them "I take the cigarettes" and so we met, to have a good time of stories, laughter, jokes and cigarettes and coffee, sometimes liquor, although I am little liqueur drinker. The issue is that we met and I do not know how many cigarettes we smoked. I asked myself many times. Could it be possible for me to spend a day without smoking?
One day Talking with a Friend, each one with her cigar in her hand, I tell her. One girl is said to love herself and I wonder if I love myself because I smoke? and she answers me, CDM, what are we !!! And we laughed.
There came a time when I made the decision and talked with my God, I said with a cigar in my hand. God is very difficult for me what I am going to tell you and ask for later. "My God, I want to stop smoking, but I can not do it alone, my God, I need you, please help me."
God You created me to be happy and to praise You, but not to pass the anguish of the withdrawal syndrome, So I leave it in your hands, I know I'm comfortable leaving it to you, because it was my decision to start smoking, That decision, like all the bad decisions that hurt us in life was easy; but my Lord is a big effort to make this decision to stop smoking, please help me.
The days passed and I continued smoking. I smelled clothes when I went to bed and stank of cigarettes, I walked away from people when I smoked.
On December 18, 2004, a friend who did not smoke came to ask me if she did not care if I smoked a cigarette and she said no, so I lit my cigarette and enjoyed it while talking with her, she lived nearby and He left the house late, after he left I watched TV for a while and went to bathe.
In the bathroom I lit another cigarette, I saw it and asked my Creator. God even when I smoke? Good you will know !!!
I went to my mother's room that was still living, to say good night and went to bed.
I woke up in the early morning with a huge cold, I thought I had a fever, but I did not have the will to get up, in the morning one of my brothers came and wanted to take me to the doctor and I told him it was not necessary, I spend the day and in the Later I realize that I had not smoked a cigarette, and I told myself how weird and I continued with my normal life, the next day I go to the office where I have a box of cigarettes on the desk, that I had only taken a cigarette, I open the drawer and I take out the cigarettes I smell them and already, as it provokes me, good I continue with my normal life, like after 3 days a friend goes to the office and I tell her what I miss 3 days without smoking, it does not provoke me and I have a box of cigarettes in the house and another here in the office ?.
So the Glory is from God, do not smoke anymore, because the will to go get a cigarette I lost it, I do not see myself with a cigarette, neither in my hand, nor in my mouth.
The decision was mine, but God made the Miracle.
For that Dear Reader, everything you want to do, if it is for your good and for the Glory of God, you can achieve it.
Put your 10% that God will put 90%. But without your 10% God will not be able to do anything. Remember God is Respectful of your Free Will.
Life is beautiful, enjoy every moment of your life, even the bad ones, who are also part of life.
Happy life.
A hug.