How Important is it to accept your flaws positively and help yourself to become a better person.
Benjamin Franklin tried to become a perfect human. He understood that he had flaws, but he tried to change them. They made a list of 13 properties and prepared detailed notes for breaking them any day. They vowed to deal with them and attributed their habits of self improvement to their success in life.
For a very long time, I also tried to emulate this feeling of being a better person in all aspects of my life. I would like to make a list of books, which I should read to become a more enlightened person. I set the right grades like hard-to-reach goals, then to meet them, they have studied like crazy. I bow down for minor flaws, at every cost, to tell them to correct them. I wanted what Ben Franklin wanted to become - the right person.
It made me absolutely pathetic
Self improvement in specific areas is really a great thing when you work hard and get better in the new skill or habit of life, then you can be proud that you are really improving. But when you decide to do it on all fronts of your life - from your own work to the life of your family until it ends - it ends just ending
You can not keep it any longer It's like trying to assemble a puzzle where all the pieces are not fit as soon as you dedicate a bunch of time to your work, you feel that your family time is short And you are struggling more at home. Even if you strike a rare balance, it only takes an accident so that all of these crash down. An illness means that you miss an important event. One work you used to advocate was cut, not because you were not doing a great job, but because the company had decided not to go in that direction. You feel like a failure because life happens, and you can not fully fit the way you think completely.
During the time I wanted to be the right person, I remember to talk to a coworker about good interview questions. He told me that he hated "what is your biggest weakness"? The question is that almost every interviewer asks that he said that you want to make a list of defects in your character to managers and how to beat them to surprise you. But sometimes, they said, you can not beat your flaws. Instead, you accept them and focus their time to strengthen their power. He claimed that was the right path for career success, and a good manager would try to reduce the circumstances in which your weaknesses came.
Their answer had floored me, I always thought that I have to win my shortcomings or at least try to control them. I never thought about the loopholes to ignore the search to be better on other things. Using their advice, I examined my position as a marketing manager. Rather than trying to be a better technical person, who always gave me a signal, instead I focused on soft skills like project management. I ended excellence in this area and became an efficient software project manager, because I understand all the technical details of my job, but because I have the skills that other people in my area need.
The idea of accepting errors in my personal life I have a strong temperament, and I always used to incite myself to feel mad about small things. I will cook on the things, got angry about being so angry, and thus made a vicious circle. When I decided to embrace my anger instead of destroying it, then I found better ways to run that energy. I learned to fight strategies and stopped feeling guilty all the time. I allow myself to blame in this way, knowing that I am not right, and the anger becomes as fast as before, before it becomes less quickly.
Once I applied it to my emotions, I could see my closest friends and family in more positive light. Since I was always trying to complete myself, so I wanted everyone to try to be right. Now, I do not care, I married a wonderful man with flaws, but instead of trying to improve it, I focus on all positive qualities of my character. I appreciate it more than I know I can forget about the dates and appointments, but instead of provoking it about it, as I did with the last lover, I have no complaints about our relationship I manage those aspects, knowing that he makes me some of the losses, it is happy compared to each of us, we all have the best of everything trying to become thieves.
I would never say Benjamin Franklin was a stupid man that is a type of personality that grows during constant self-improvement and perfection. But i do not I am more comfortable with my faulty and imperfect self, which I have ever done. I have completed many things in my life, there is no illusion that I am the right person at any time. Neither, at this time, I want to be.