This story is true. Any inaccuracies are only due to the faultiness of human memory. There will be little to no exaggeration.
The year was 1993.
I know that it was 1993, because I was reading the re-released copy of Jurassic park. I know it was that book, because that book almost get me sent to jail (or juvenile) as a 10 year old. It sounds strange, but the circumstances that led up to it will make sense.
What is now "CVS" drug store was then "Hook's Drug Store". Hook's went out of business a while back. Not to derail, but trying to make a point that this was DEFINITELY a different time...well, in some ways...
So, I am a nerd, and have always been a nerd. When I was 10, I was reading the book version of Jurassic Park. Wild...right?!
Definitely was not "Fast Times at Ridgemont Junior High"...
I would often carry my books with me and read as I walked while my mom would grocery shop or whatever...
Well, I guess one day, I must have fucked up by doing that...Enveloped by the more detailed descriptions of events at the park, I was taken out of the story by a harsh and abrupt yelling...
"Where'd you get that book?!"
Confused, I am not really sure if the guy is talking to me so I am like looking around...mind you...I am 10...not really used to getting yelled at by grown people who are not my parents...
"Yeah you kid! Where'd you get that book?"
"My mom"
"You're LYING! You stole that book!"
now...as a 10 year old kid, i am like...?
That is the last possible thing that I was thinking could have happened...mind you...I am fucking 10...
So, I think the entire time, my sister who is at the time 8 is wandering around the store.
Now, at this point, I am not sure exactly what happened, because I was 10, and the resolution of this part is hazy, because the story does not end there.
I am not sure if my Dad came into the store and diffused the situation by asserting that the book was in fact "mine", and I didn't fucking steal a copy of goddamn Jurassic Park...(who does that BTW?!?!??!)
I am not sure if I would have been able to rationalize that my copy was worn and not "new", and thus could not be a 'stolen' copy, but that is possible, because as a 10 year old I would have tried to argue at least somewhat, because at that point not only am I not a "thief", but I know that the book has been with me for the duration of the adventure that kept me unaware of this douchebag now accusing me of theft...
So, regardless of what happened at that point, the cops were not called, and I got to keep my book...We get home, and my 8 year old sister is eating some life savers...
"Where'd she get those lifesavers?" My dad asks me...
Having just avoided juvenile detention due to the fact that I was heavily enveloped in an awesome novel, all I could respond with was "I don't know"...
"So you didn't buy those for her?"
Being 10, and not legally being able to have a job, and having no money at the time...all I could respond with was "No"
My dad turns to my sister "Where did you get these?"
"I don't know" she responds...
"Oh fuck" i think...or at least, that would be something that i would think now knowing what was about to happen...
Turns out, my sister had stolen some life savers while everyone was distracted...
We both got spankings that day...
I got spanked because I was the older brother, and was supposed to know to make sure to keep her from doing that shit...
She was clearly the one everyone should have been watching...
Now...as a FUCKING 10 YEAR OLD...this whole day, had me entirely fucked up...
I had been told many things about the world up to this point, including that there was an omnipotent higher power that had a plan for everyone...
I am not certain the exact thoughts, but i know from that day I had to go to this higher power and say something like "HEY, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT GUY? IS THIS SOME FUCKING JOKE?"...I had so many questions, so much anger...
and that was the day I was 10 years old and almost went to jail for reading a book
this is what happens to a kid that is accused of stealing his own books by a dumbass old man...goes from...young, wide eyed nerdy little shit:
oh, did i add that i was a little black kid playing hockey in 1992?
yeah, i fucking played hockey...
you accuse THAT kid of being a thief because you're an idiot...and he turns into:
Me ready to fight the power, not knowing whether to turn the other cheek or go by any means necessary (at fucking age 10)
that is for the "pics or it didn't happen" crowd...
so...i joke about it...but that shit happened...and for fuck's sake people...stop treating kids like criminals