A testimony from a friend that i randomly met at Planet Shakers earlier this year.
I know this message is out of the ordinary but I thought I should come on here and thank you. Thank you for letting me be with you the past weekend. Thank you for bringing me heaps of joy + laughter even in the short time of getting to know each other. Last but not least, thank you for praying for me when I didn't expect you to.
Seeing how you've prayed for others and even myself was truly an encouragement. The Spirit and power of the Lord is so evident in you and how you lead others into the presence of Christ. And I want to say that I am super proud of you and I'm so excited to see where and who God will lead you to next.
This is very impromptu, but I'd like to share the story of my journey with you. I wasn't expecting to when I started writing this message but somehow when I was in the midst of writing it out, I felt in my heart to share with you. Hopefully my story finds you good in any sort of way.
I have been battling with anxiety, severe depression and bulimia thoroughly for the past year. It obviously hasn't been an easy journey - there were many times I attempted to end my life,even few days before the planetshakers conference. I've shared it with one of my best friends who is also my leader and mentor. She was the one who helped me realize that I was struggling with all of this.
There were times where she was so fearful for me and what I would do to myself, she wanted to tell my parents. But I didn't trust my parents because I didn't have a good relationship with them or even my only sister who's a year younger. (I'll get into that later) Everyday was a burden for me. I would pray the night before that I wouldn't have to get up the next day. I'll wake up with strong anxiety and start crying. I was emotionally, spiritually and even physically drained.
I started to shut out alot of people in my life or pretend that I had everything together. It got so frustrating for me, I self harmed. There were so many voices inside my head that persuaded me to kill myself.
I wasn't brought up in a typical happy family. Growing up, I experienced my parents fighting all the time. It became a norm I could never seem to be used too. One time, they almost got a divorce. My dad was always harsh to my mom and the whole family really. He always brought us down and screamed at us for everything. Till this day, I still don't actually like him. My sister was jealous because I was the youngest so she would abuse me too. Sometimes, physically. She too, would scream at me, use hurtful words and treat me as if I was good for nothing. My mom was always busy with work and her own ministry, so she never really spent time with me.
School was hell too. I have been bullied since the age of 8. Even though I have transferred schools now, the hate and torture I experience still remains. I don't have real friends in school because they too bring me down. I for one am not gifted in the academic area so I don't score like I want to + my parents want to. So it often makes me feel worse about myself.
I've struggled with body image issues ever since I was 9. And I actually started puking a lot since last year (like what I said prior to this). I never knew how to love myself. People around me would constantly point out my flaws and there are so many times I would just bawl my eyes about it.
However, there were 2 or 3 times where I thought I've conquered my anxiety, depression and bulimia. I thought I was stronger and I would never fall back into it. I was even on fire for God and praying. But somehow, my wounds opened up and I wallowed back into this dark hole. This process repeated itself for the number of times mentioned.
In my youth camp last year, I experienced God for the first time in a long time. But I fell back into it beginning of this year. I was reluctant to go for planetshakers cause I knew that I didn't desire God's presence enough. But oh I was wrong!
On the first night of the awakening, I encountered God in such a real and powerful way! It was such an awesome feeling. On the second day, I didn't expect much because I thought He had done what He wanted to do the night before. So I came with little to no expectation. BUT THERE WAS MORE IN HIM! wow we serve such an amazing God don't we!
When you were praying for people, I was just amazed by how strong the Lord was in you and how He was using you to touch people. When I lost sight of you, I was worshipping on my own but my heart started pounding as if something significant was about to happen. AND THEN YOU CAME AND LAID HANDS ON ME! When you started speaking in tongues, I felt the power and fire of the Great I Am come upon me and I was slained as you know.
I was shaking and unaware of what was happening around me. I knew Amanda got slained though. But when the song ''Your Presence'' came on, I started bawling and bawling because His presence was so overwhelming in the best way possible. When I got up, Amanda was hugging me. But God had more in store, I felt the struggles bow down to the name and power of Jesus Christ and I started screaming. I couldn't control it. But I knew it was happening. I felt light and I felt like at that moment, I was reconciled to Him.
So I want to thank you for doing what you do, for + in + through Christ. It is such a blessing. Have an awesome week ahead. Knowing God will continue to do GREAT things!
It is true this girls testimony of what God did in her life during the conference :
"“God is able to take the mess of our past and turn it into a message. He takes the trials and tests and turns them into a testimony.” -Christine Caine-
Hope that this testimony will encourage or blessed anyone out there. That will maybe impart or impact anyone out there. Because really All glory to Him for this testimony.
I am reminded of this verse
" Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." ( Matthew 19:26 ) "
Sometimes we are too comfortable with the people around us till we forget that there are people out there that might be battling with something that maybe through Jesus you can impact that life.God can used you to touch that life that is lost or whoever that needs the Lord. #beablessing #beanimpact #stepout #stepforth
You just need to take that step of faith to be the first to talk to that person , stir up that courage inside of you. The moment you keep sticking to the people that you know that bubble will never pop. Don't live in that bubble, but instead let the bubble pop so that Jesus can used you for His Glory.
It really just takes ONE moment and just one touch from Him to put aside all your distractions to live for Him , to hunger for Him.
