Mum: "This is what I got your father for fathers day, do you think he'll like it"? My response was to haunt me to this day.
Fast forward 15 minutes and I was off to the shops to get some things for mum and grab lunch for us all. My 12 month & 10 day old Son was staying behind with his Nana. (He'd just had his first birthday ten days before) and my Dad had gone to play a round of snooker with some friends at the local RSA (Returned Serviceman's Association)
"OK mum, I shouldn't be long. If you can just keep an eye on David, I'll try to get back quickly"
To David: "Now you be a good boy for Nana OK? You do as she tells you, I will be back really soon and I'll bring you something nice to eat from the shops"
"See Ya"
I spent the next 30 min at the local shops getting bits and pieces, I was running about 10 minutes later than what I had expected, but the break was nice even though it was such a short time. Hopping back into the car, it was just a 5 min drive back to Mum's. I collected the packages up and went to my parents unit. I could see my son David playing in the bookshelf that he wasn't s'posed to. I tapped on the window and he turned to me with a big grin....
(Laughing) "Naughty !!! " He came toddling over. I tried the door but mum had locked it so he couldn't get out...so I knocked on the door....nothing...knocked and called out.....nothing...my heart started beating SO fast, I knew something was not right but I didn't want David to pick up on it...I spied the bedroom window open and decided to climb through....my life changed forever in the next few seconds.
I found my beautiful loving mum. She had been doing the washing. There was water everywhere, the tub had overflowed as the tap was on. She was lying on the floor. She was gone.
I wont go into any other details at this point onward. Just to say, it was a nightmare. She was only 59.
The thing was/is...I cannot remember if I had told her how great her present was for dad, I'm positive I did but, I can't remember if I hugged her and told her he'd absolutely love it and that she'd done so well. (My heart is beating fast while I'm writing this) The thing was, mum didn't drive, so for her to get this present took a lot of planning and saving. Did I just throw a casual remark her way?
I HAD REGRETS............
23 months later, nearly to the exact day, my dad died. He was only 61. I was 23 with a small baby to raise, but I had no regrets.
Today is the 1st September, the first day of Spring in New Zealand and mum's most favourite day of the year, also the day she died, 35 years ago.
After THAT day, when in the depths of the night I went over and over trying to remember my last words to her, I came to a decision. From now on, no matter how stupid I might sound, no matter how weird I might appear, I would ALWAYS tell someone I loved them, I would encourage them, praise them, and never let a KIND word, not go unspoken. So, I told my dad I loved him, I praised him for all he had done for us kids. I took every opportunity I could to let him know how treasured he was by us all. When he went, it was a shock, BUT, I had no regrets, I had left nothing unsaid.
THIS is what having no regrets is all about.
It is NOT about not getting that dress or top in the shop window when it was on sale, it's not about you, it's all about others. Its about those harsh words about to come from your mouth....stop!!! they may be the last you utter to someone. You see someone getting mistreated, abuse hurled at them, speak up !!!! You may be their lifeline. Exact same goes for animals. I don't keep quiet anymore, I don't want to lay in bed regretting and agonizing that I should have done something when I could. All you have to do is make the decision. Don't get me wrong, it takes a bit of courage to speak up or do the right thing, but its worth it.
Example:
The other day while walking through a village in our town, striding right through the middle of the pedestrians, taller than all those around him, came a "homeless" guy. I'm sure he was wearing his whole wardrobe !! The people parted and looked aside, I started to look to the side when I thought NO !!...I looked him right in the eye and smiled...I got the biggest smile and a wave back from him. It made me so happy. My husband said..."So...mate of yours then?" "NO...but I saw him...when people look away, I imagine you feel like you don't exist...but I SAW him" I went home with no regrets.
So here's to the first day of Spring, here's to my amazing mum, here's to living life with no more regrets.
God bless you all and keep you safe
