Something everybody hates at first then slowly grows to love, performing
I'm asked a lot how I can deal with all the stress of performing in big ballets and orchestrated concerts and I just don't know how to respond sometimes. Being a dancer and musician I'm used to not thinking about it. Sometimes I'll be on stage right smack in the middle of my performance and right then and there I will have a burst of realization that my rehearsing for the last few weeks or several months has been building up to this. Many years ago when I was still new to the arts I would sometimes find myself wide awake in the middle of the night shaking from anxiety about my performance while pondering the myriad of scenarios where I mess up however now I'm overcome with enthusiasm and excitement for the performance to come.
This week I will have the chance to join my sometimes odd and peculiar orchestra in a performance of some great pieces of music I just love and enjoy. I've been waiting forever to do this!!!!! I will be performing Thais Meditation by J.Massenet. I'm a little sad I won't be playing the solo Violin however It's still a wonderful piece to get lost in. Whenever I hear it my body begins to move and my fingers begin to go through the fingerings for the Violin part.
Other than Thais I'm also playing something that if you've read my earlier posts you'll remember me talking about it. Early this year I spoke with my conductor and asked If the orchestra could play a specific piece of music I truly adore and he agreed! I'm playing Dmitri Shostakovich's Waltz No.2 and I'm jumping out of my seat thinking about it! Shostakovich is a huge part of the reason I've been so into music this year. Learning how he survived in Russia in the time of Stalin with the music he created made me realize heroes are those who fought for what they believe in and that's music in his case.
I sometimes forget how much fun performing can be, at the same time I hope this is something I can do all my life and I also don't want this to be my profession because of how much pressure is put on myself. It's crazy I already have over 100 followers! It's just amazing to have an opportunity to talk about random stuff with an amazing audience!