One of the little stories I wrote 30 years ago about one of my little experiences following spirit's guidance :) I was 26 years old and Jason was 2.
I hope it can offer inspiration to anyone.
This was a time in my life when I was walking through my own drama, as, my first husband had said in so many words he saw me, only, as a friend and felt I was a sister, more than anything else. This was a day that led to one of the hardest walks of my life; struggling to raise a little guy and maintain my sanity and peace of mind while being a stable parent. I had left the married dorms, quickly, driving around crying and did not notice I had been speeding down this lonely road of endless cornfields. As I looked through my rear view mirror I saw the flashing lights that brought me back into reality and suddenly found myself face to face with the highway patrol. I rolled down the window and was embarrassed as the tears rolled down my face as I was just handed the emotional blow of a lifetime. I explained I knew I was speeding, now, and just simply had not been paying attention as my husband just delivered the news he was no longer: "in love with me".
The officer was kind enough to tell me to go on my way and just slow down, that he had experienced something similar in his life. What a blessing that was! I look for the blessings, even, through the hardest times.
I feel this is one key to maintaining a flow of good energy in ones life when we need it the most. I decided to drive back towards town and just walk around, somewhere, until I calmed down. I put my sun glasses on to hide my red eyes and turned around to drive back towards the tiny town in Nebraska. My thoughts shot to my husband. I really had thought this man was it; He is the most perfect wonderful man. He ministered in a little church in Northern California where we had opened our little place to the homeless. I never thought he would not see me as family. I never thought my life would be without him. I was stunned and shocked and, again, my life had changed forever.
As I wandered down the tiny outside mall on this cloudy brisk day, I suddenly heard a voice "see the angel in the dollar shop". I thought to myself “Oh boy, not again, not now, please!”. Then I heard it again:"see the angel in the dollar shop". Ok. Here it was. I was going through the most horrible time in my life. I was numb and I felt lost, and spirit was asking me to go look for an angel in the dollar shop. Was I losing my mind?
I slowly proceeded to walk down the block looking for something similar to a dollar shop and found it. I saw the back of a woman facing the window as she stood behind the counter. I looked back to scan all of the shops down the row to make sure this one fit the description and I concluded the "family dollar store" was the one I was being asked to walk into. I had no idea what I was supposed to do when I went inside, so I just walked around the store for about 30 minutes. Up and down the aisles I walked ,waiting to fully understand why I had been led there. Once every few minutes I looked up at the woman who was behind the counter. She never lifted her head. She seemed to be looking down at something in a journal or book, and totally immersed in it. From what I could see and sense she looked and felt sad. After a few times of wanting to leave, yet, feeling I had to stay, I looked up at her again and saw a beautiful light behind her. It was not coming from outside as it was a cloudy overcast day. I sighed as I began thinking of my husband and how I saw those very things around him at one time and began to be sucked into my emotional turmoil when something said again "see the angel at the dollar shop". I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to be angry..scared..lost. I wanted to run and hide and here I was being nudged by spirit to reach out to someone else! What timing. There must be a reason for it. Suddenly as I resolved to making this a mission for spirit I heard: 'Please tell her I am with her. Tell her I am her Angel. Tell mom I love her and not to be sad….please!". I looked around the whole store. There was no one and the store was empty as every person had left besides the sad looking woman behind the counter. So now, at least, I know who I was supposed to deliver a message to. Now another 20 minutes working up the energy and courage.
Finally, I took my 3 items up to the counter. Bubbles for my son, some crayons and some socks. I began taking them out of the hand held basket slowly and suddenly a made a big sigh and looked up to force a smile at the sad lady. Our eyes met. There we both stood with red, wet eyes, both made a big sigh..both looked as if we had been through battle somehow, emotionally. I said "Hi" in my soft voice as I looked into her eyes. She said "hi, how is your day so far?" . I said.."well..ok..it's ok..I just..umm..I know this sounds strange, yet, I have to tell you something about a little angel I saw and a message she has..a little angel I heard was here in this store." Her eyes opened wide and I expected her to say :"your'e crazy..please leave!". After all, this was a very small straight laced town. The people seemed tight, and maybe a bit on the conservative side, as compared to some of the other places I had lived around the states. She said "really..please..please do tell me!" I was a little shocked at her acceptance or receptiveness of what I just delivered. I had not expected such an open invitation. I looked around and the store was still empty. Ok! I took a deep breath and said something like this: " Well..I was driving around and crying because my husband just told me he no longer loved me and the police stopped me and I had a vision and heard there was an angel in this shop and I was supposed to come tell you". Before I went on I looked at her as I bit my tounge, almost for approval to go on.. She said.."please what else?".. I went on to say something like " Well..gosh this is hard..I don't want you to think i am crazy, yet, I heard a young girl tell me to tell you that she is your angel. She is with you..she loves you..she is here now..I see her behind you...she said “tell my mom not to be sad..to keep writing..I love her and I am always with her." I put my head down not knowing how she would respond as she fiddled with a journal she had on the counter.
Suddenly she said "you are my angel!" I looked up and said..well..I feel there is an angel with you..but..
Then she just began pouring out a story about How her and her twin daughters had gotten a flat tire on a highway, not far from here, and pulled over on a bridge.
They had gotten out to look at the damage. As her and her two twin 17 year old daughters walked to the front of the car, a semi truck came out of nowhere and hit their car. One of the twin girls was taken along with the car and killed instantly as her mom and sister watched in horror. This had happened about 8 months earlier and this poor woman was just drowning in greif. She did not want to go on..she felt it was her fault..she should have never gotten out of the car..or had her daughters do so!
I heard just at that instant and said it out loud to her, interrupting her: " She says No mom..if we would have stayed in the car we would have all been killed". It shocked me when it came out of my mouth and suddenly I saw the reaction of the woman in front of me..her face relaxed..she began crying..I began crying..she came around the counter and we hugged..and cried..and thanked each other...for listening..for talking..for..whatever..She told me she had been reading her daughters journal and had been praying for an angel to come give her a sign that her daughter was with her.. That day..in all my pain and personal tragedy, I was someone’s angel! I was someones’ angel... She thanked me. We hugged again, blessed each other and I quickly got into my car and drove away. Even though the next few years would be the hardest years of my life.. it was a comfort knowing that my life still had a purpose: not only to be the best mommy I could be and to appreciate every moment with my son, yet, to always listen to spirit..in time of tragedy..in times of lost hope..in times of being on the verge of a nervous break down..spirit is alive and always offering opportunities for us to be..someone’s angel. What gift. I think I will make it after all.
