Confidence is the holy grail of success in life. There are a myriad of ways to build confidence, but what's more importance is the principles behind building unshakeable confidence.

Estimated Viewing Time: 3-4 mins

Style: Relaxed yet deep

Why read this? Because confidence is the single greatest asset anyone can possess. By having a thorough understanding of the finer elements of confidence you can greatly improve your self-worth and success in life.

Key Takeaways
Confidence can be distilled into two finer elements: ‘Self-belief’ and ‘letting go’
• Self-belief involves planting positive beliefs about yourself to grow a strong foundation for confidence
• Letting go involves detaching yourself from your desired outcome so that you can perform optimally and with confidence without the detrimental effects of stress

The Greatness of Confidence

Confidence has long been touted as the holy grail of human traits. It’s the pinnacle of self-actualization and the key that opens many doors of opportunity.

We know it as that distinct sense of certainty, assurance and belief in ourselves that can empower us to reach our deepest desires. Those without it know of its seductive nature that commands unwavering attention. Whichever way we decide to define confidence it is the clarity and certainty of our desired outcomes.

A Different Approach to Confidence

There are countless articles and books on how to boost and build confidence however, a lot of them focus on applying generic strategies (usually quick fixes) that increase confidence momentarily or on the surface. This becomes like trying to construct a building on sand instead of cement.

The Finer Elements of Confidence

Distilling confidence to its fundamental form reveals that confidence is just a combination of two elements: self-belief and letting go.

Self-belief

At the core of confidence is your self-belief. This is the belief in yourself and your abilities. Your self-belief is like the seeds of confidence that you grow and nurture to ultimately define your identity and self-esteem.

To grow these seeds of confidence you need to dedicate time and positive energy (just like how you would water a plant and give it sunlight to grow). This is usually in the form of positive affirmations (internal or external: "I can do it", "You can do it"), focused learning and training, experience and/or recognizing achievements.

In the end, confidence comes from constantly planting positive beliefs about yourself and reinforcing these beliefs with positive energy.

I believe in always digging deeper and further to find the inner workings of a mystifying art (such as confidence) because, it’s only when you peel back all the layers masking an art you can uncover truths that yield powerful life-changing consequences.
Thus to grow confidence we first have to break it down and distil it to its finer elements.

Letting Go: The Missing Element

Having the belief that you can achieve an outcome is only one part of the equation. The other is ‘letting go of the outcome’. Sounds counter intuitive right? This is why it is the missing element of growing confidence, let me elaborate.

When you become too attached to an outcome (i.e. getting a promotion) you tend to create an air of desperation around you. You might end up anxious, frustrated or stressed out, all of which infuses you with more negative energy and leads you down a vicious spiral.

Just think about a time you wanted something so badly that you ended up attracting the opposite (i.e. scaring off the love of your life, wanting your dream job etc.).

Confident people on the other hand appear nonchalant or ‘detached to the outcome’. There is a complete absence of self-consciousness and desperation, a sort of flow state where everything seems to go perfectly.
They make the most difficult things seem effortless and easy when in fact it's the culmination of experience (self-belief) and mindset (letting go) that fuels their confidence.

Putting it Together

Let's use a practical example to illustrate how these two elements can grow your confidence substantially.

Outcome: Landing your dream job

Let's say you've finally got an interview with an employer that is offering your dream job of being a TV presenter.
Now, the employer is looking for someone that is super confident in their ability to present and entertain their audience. The problem is that you are doubting your abilities and self-worth.

Using the two fundamental elements of confidence you can grow your confidence so that you maximize your chances to land your dream job.

Firstly, confidence comes from the beliefs you plant about yourself (self-belief). Having beliefs that you aren't entertaining or good enough are simply negative energies and don't serve your purpose whatsoever.

Start by planting new positive beliefs (figuratively dig out the seeds of negativity) about yourself such as being incredibly charismatic and entertaining. Next, reinforce these beliefs through affirmations, gaining experience etc. that set the foundation to grow your level of confidence for the job.

Lastly, you must let go of the outcome (‘to land your dream job’). Now I'm not saying don't care about the job itself as you will come across apathetic, I'm saying it shouldn't matter whether you get the job or not. There is a fine line between apathy and letting go.

Being too attached will only add stress and desperation which eats away at your confidence levels. Letting go of the outcome means you remove the element of stress and desperation allowing you to perform optimally with confidence.
By having a strong foundation of self-belief combined with a relaxed mindset you will greatly increase your confidence levels which will maximize your chances in landing your dream job.

From the Roots Up

Confidence is an asset we must cultivate from the roots upwards. It's one of the most valuable assets we can possess to help us realize our potential and maximize our successes in life.

At the end of the day it's about not caring about whether you succeed or fail and doing the best you can do.

It's this is kind of mentality coupled with a strong foundation of self-belief that grows unshakable inner-confidence that attracts powerful life-changing consequences.