First published at nathawatbrothers.net
In life, we all wanted to be more confident. Whether it’s home or job. Whether socially or in a relationship. Whether with friends or enemies. We want to be confident in almost every area of our life. Even Google, too, wants to be more confident when showing people search results. But somewhere in life, a time comes in everybody’s life, when we feel less confident and more insecure. And then we say to ourselves that I want to be more confident. And of course, to achieve that, we lookout for resources, which can help us to acquire our end goal.
But in the chase of achieving something, we always forget about what is it that causing our desire. What it is, which making us feel less confident and insecure. Therefore, in this article, before we look at the tips on how to be more confident, we’re going to see what it is in the first place that makes us believe less confident. Because knowing our weak points, helps us prepare better. So, here we go.
The reasons why we feel less confident and more insecure
(1) We treat other people on higher ground than us.
Yes, one of the primary reasons for our feeling less confident is how we see the other person’s personality. This means our problem of judging people. We measure other people more intelligent than us. We find another person more aesthetic than us, and so on.
(2) We assume things: We fear that another person would bite us.
For example, go to a bar, and there you find a woman attractive. You liked her, and now want her to express your feelings. But you’re not confident ‘cause you assume the result of your action you’ve not taken yet. You presume, she’ll crush your balls, whatever you’re going to say to her.
(3) We feel less confident when we don’t have enough knowledge, or we lack experience of something.
(4) We fear that we will lose something.
(5) When we don’t want to make any mistakes yet think that whatever we do or did, it will turn out wrong. We’re afraid of making mistakes.
(6) We feel less confident when we are confused that what we’re doing is right or wrong.
(7) We find ourselves inappropriate in a particular situation.
(8) We create a storyline about other’s opinions on us.
These are some of the reasons we’ve found out. If you got more, then please share them in the comment section.
Now move on to how to be more confident and less insecure in life
(1) Never think about your past experience.
Our past and future thinking is the crucial game-changer in our confident regime. And to become more confident, we need to let go of both. Because when we think about our past experience and if it’s terrible, then we believe that the same thing will happen this time, too. Fear kicks in our minds, and we are afraid to face the same experience again that hasn’t happened yet, which lowers our confidence.
(2) Give yourself time for more clarity.
In a hurry, we always feel less confident, no matter what. Because at that moment, we only think about executing our task or job. So, there’s a possibility that we have made a mistake. Because we didn’t go through our work or task twice. We didn’t check it carefully because we want it to deliver on time. So, we’re not sure that our work or whatever it is, is good enough to be served. And that’s why we feel less confident.
Therefore, to be more confident and less insecure for whatever you do in life, give yourself time for more clarity. Whether it is an interview or date, before facing it, sit back and relax. Think about it patiently. Breath more than ever. And you’ll feel confident naturally. There’s no better remedy than breathing deeper to feel confident.
(3) Love your body, accept it.
We feel insecure because we crave things that are in others. We see fault in us and perfection in others. We find more in others and less in us. But how in this way we’re going to learn about ourselves. How we would find out what we need. If we don’t accept what we have, then how someone else is going to. If we don’t respect our uniqueness, then how someone would appreciate it.
Yes, you are unique in many ways. And by uniqueness, we don’t mean that you’re entitled to great things in life but, you are unique. And you have to accept it and respect it. Your shit is yours, and you can’t label it with another person’s name. Therefore, to become more confident and less insecure, you’ve got to accept first what you got. And then take action to change everything around you and in you.
(4) Get prepared.
Preparation is crucial. If you don’t know how to do things, then you’ll always feel skeptical, whether it’s a job or something else. You’ve got to learn things and apply them. You have to have the knowledge about the field you are about to go in. And this is the only way to feel more confident. Always get updated with new things around your field, so you won’t find yourself behind and lost. So, you can do things in a much better way when the time comes.
(5) Dress and groom well.
Shining shoes and combed hair always make a long-lasting impression. It’s not about how we dress, but it’s about why we dress. Therefore, to be more confident, dress according to the occasion. Try to wear clean and ironed clothes because doing so you make psyche that you’ve worn neat and folds free clothes that look nice always. And whenever you start to get dressed try to start it early. So, you’d have enough time to decide and wear appropriate clothes.
(6) Leave and reach at the right time.
When we leave from a place to a destination at the right time, we kill the worrying problem of not getting there at the right time. And after reaching there at the right time, we have enough time to give it to ourselves for more clarity. Thus, more confidence and less insecurity.
(7) If it’s for the first time, then it’s not your confidence.
Whether it’s an interview or a date or you’re going in public speaking for the first time in your life, and you’re experiencing jitter, then it’s not your low confidence, else, it’s your human nature. For the first time, everybody feels it. Therefore, try to have as much experience as you can, so next time you feel it less.
(8) Take the decision if it’s right for you and others.
No matter how hard the situation is if you’re making a decision and it won’t hurt other people and you, then take it. There’s nothing to think twice and feel less confident.
(9) Use “NO” and “Try,” more than “YES.”
Humans are emotional, and because of that, they have to face many complicated situations in life. However, becoming emotionless won’t solve our problems, but being emotionally balanced can help us to be more confident. When you find yourself in a situation where you’re not 100% sure about that thing, then try to say NO.
If you think saying No deliberately would hurt him/her, then try to say TRY. You see, when we say try, we’re making that person and ourselves clear that we’re not sure that we’re able to accomplish his/her final goals, but we can try. And that’s confidence, we are confident about our trying.
(10) Remain honest to you and others.
Stop lying to others because when we lie, we are not only dishonest to others, but we’re deceiving ourselves, too. Moreover, to prove a single lie as truth we have to tell 100 other lies. And whenever we tell lies, there’s always a sense that people would catch it. And this feeling of getting caught lowers our confidence.
(11) Accept your Human nature.
Being an introvert isn’t the problem, but not accepting your true nature is. If you don’t find yourself good surrounded by many people, then you don’t have to push yourself hard to become an extrovert. Try to acknowledge your self being. Because there’s so much to find and learn in an introvert nature. And once you start to recognise and accept your introvert nature, you’ll find yourself more confident at being an introvert person. You’ll be able to create things better than extroverts.
(12) Believe your Hard work.
If you have done hard work to complete a task, then forget about everything else. People’s opinions, desires, or whatever. Present it with confidence, have faith that the hard work you put in to accomplish your goal or complete your task, would not let you fail or back down.
(13) Last but not least Read more.
Books have everything you need to become more confident and less insecure in life. People have written books after finding the solutions to the problems they had experienced. And as we-Nathawat Brothers- say, experience always helps. So, read books that are meant to help you become more confident. To develop your communication skills. To help you grow. The more you read, the better you’ll become.
That’s it, guys, if you liked this article, then don’t forget to share it as much as you can, and write your views in the comment section. And if you want to read more articles like this one, then go to our website nathawatbrothers.net, and get wisdom as much as you can.
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Nathawat Brothers
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Cover Image by Markus Spiske on Unsplash