Last week I went out on a limb in responding to a contest by @snook in coming up with my own New Year Cherub. Since she left the interpretation entirely up to the contestants, I felt a bit unsure of what to write, until I seized the lack of narrower instructions as an opportunity to just run with whatever my intuition offered up. In the end I felt quite comfortable about my cherub, and was equally pleased to see myself as the winner. Encouraged by this exciting outcome, I thought about picking up the next challenge as well: creating my Zombie! However, it took me all this time to actually sit down and write it, as my aforementioned Zombie was doing all it could to get in my way.
No Need to Invent Something Real
While my New Year Cherub was clearly my invention, the Zombie I want to talk about has been around for a while. I have no idea where it emerged from, but I'm sure it must be some boggy, swamp-like place, where heavy mud keeps things from flowing in any direction. Stagnation, putrid imbalance, and boredom are the hallmarks of this suspended state, and my Zombie seems to revel in it, carrying it everywhere, taking out the spark of life from everything.
What's the Point? and Why Should I Keep Going?
Being bitten by my Zombie has a curious effect on my strategic planning: it manages to dismantle the greatest ambitions by the simplest means. If that happens, I usually don't make it out of the house. The problem I always face, is that I have to put my shoes on, but there are two of them, one for each foot. If that was not enough, I usually should also put on some socks first, and again, there are two feet, turning the endeavor into a four-step task. Meanwhile my Zombie laughs at me, pointing out that there is really nothing out there that would make my outing worthwhile. At times I fight back, but recently I have been surrendering to this beast.
Sunlight Loses Color, Music Loses Its Joyfulness
When I give in to my Zombie, things tend to get gloomy. I try to stay positive, but gradually I notice how everything around me fades away. Granted, things still appear to be the same, except for they stop being pretty, interesting, or appealing in the way they used to. Listening to music I thought I liked will annoy me, and the tastiest food will stop causing the same type of pleasure. My creativity hits rock bottom, and it takes considerable effort even to post a reply to a HIVE post, let alone compose one of my own. In my own writing I'm overwhelmed by self-doubt, and reading posts of others first I lose attention, then interest.
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Kick the Sucker in its Behind!
Unfortunately, there are many situations working into the hands of my Zombie: First of all, I never liked leaving home in the city, so I feel fortunate if I can stay in. Only after a while it tens to catch up with me, and I feel sorry for having experienced a beautiful sunny day from inside my cold apartment. But once I realize that I haven't posted in a week (yes, today is one of those realizations), while wondering what has happened to those days, that's when I feel I have to give myself a shove. Small actions, such as responding to @snook's challenge today, is just the first step of standing up to this Zombie. It works, but in more serious cases more severe measures are called for.
When Things Get Too Comfortable
In the past, engaging in activities that I love, such as participating at a build, or going on a long bike ride, has managed to push the Zombie back into a far corner, diminishing its power to nearly nothing. But it'll still be there, crawling back out after I've been at home for too long, after I have gotten settled into a daily routine, right after New Years seems to be its favorite time. And these days I can really feel its nasty teeth gnawing on me. So I will have to arrange some trip, a project, some other type of getaway, whatever it is, while I still manage to make arrangements for anything. Now is the time to put those shoes on! Never mind if on the wrong feet and without socks... or else go outside barefooted!
