1. Turn the f****** porch light on or I can't find you
2. Pretty sure $0.38 is not a reasonable tip
3. If you can't afford to tip don't order the f****** food go pick it up your damn self the lazy son of a b****
4. I promise you my dog is cuter than yours
5. I do not want to come in your house, and it's sort of creepy that you offer