Still confused at first, but I'm getting there.
Is it normal when I day dream and then I suddenly get carried away acting in it, then I come to my senses and ask myself "what was I doing and saying? im so glad no one saw me".
This for me usually occurs when no one is around.
Especially when my favorite types of music genre is played. I start feeling safer, creative, accepted, right, stronger, confident, independent, and in control.
I checked again online and it says, this could be Maladaptive Daydreaming.
Pffft! I don't really know!
However, it also mentioned that it could happen to someone for hours. Mine only occurs 15 minutes and of course I'm happy when I snap out of it.
Or could this just be Mind Wandering?
I'm so confused. I'm getting worried sometimes.
I dream or think of me being a famous singer, performing live on stage infront of thousands of people. Or a really awesome dancer. I dream of romance, rescue or like I'm chatting all day inspiring people and friends.
What I don't like about all this is that, it takes up time. Instead of me being able to do stuff I want, like do my laundry, get out of the house so I could reach work on time....Well, I'm left daydreaming and when I snap out of it, 15 minutes or 30 minutes has passed.
I ask myself, "couldn't I have just done this during my day off? or at night? why now? when i have so many things to do? and why does it make me feel good and wished it was just like this and be the person I wanted to be? i can make it real, i can do this".
But then again, I realize, it's sad because I can't leave. She'll be alone. But I hate this place. She won't let anyone in our lives that's not beneficial to her and me. She's too selfish she won't let me enjoy my life and love the man I want to love. She's so jealous and wants all my strength and effort and attention just to be hers and if not, that I should just be at home.
She wants me to produce cash like an atm machine. She wants me to afford my own place. I'm talking about a place that is my own, my own house, room, kitchen, living room, all mine....only to find out that, this was her dream and I'm not even there yet. But of course, everyone deserves a place of their own. I too should have mine. So it's not all that negative right, but then again, the whole process irritates me and stresses me out!
And so I'm better off locking myself in my own daydreams wherein I have a simple life. A peaceful one.
Or, I am so famous and successful that all the cash I have and money can buy and she has everything she wants and I don't ever have to worry about her hunger for power, money and attention.
All this daydreaming makes it hard for me to concentrate in real life. I expect more of myself in real life and get tired and discouraged so easily on myself. Knowing that if I daydream, there, in that, I am a better person. So why should I even bother?
I feel like crying right now it's so frustrating!
I hate how her overprotective, overcontrolling and selfish acts and jealousy has made me.
I truly need to be attached in order for me to feel I am not disordered. Dr. Somer, thanks for sharing words that I can use to describe what I truly feel.
Thanks to Rebecca Kamm and everything shared on Obsessive Daydreaming
I know more now.
I think I'll check out Wild Minds Network
I'm not insane, I'm not alone! & I can control and will want to keep controlling this so that it doesn't eat up my time - real time.
