Dealing with divorce is already an emotional battlefield, so why make that process even more arduous by heading into it unprepared? According to the American Psychological Association, roughly 40-50% of married couples divorce, depending on the given year's statistics. While this is an alarming numbers, being prepared for divorce proceedings (in and out of the court) can make the entire process significantly easier to manage. So, if you're currently facing an impending divorce, continue reading as this next bit is just for you... In order to help you better prepare for divorce, we'll cover 8 invaluable tips to help you save time, money, and stress.
What to prepare for
Regardless if your divorce is premeditated or completely spontaneous, once you know the direction in which you're going, there are several things you can do to prepare for what's to come. Below you will find a list of useful suggestions to help you protect yourself through the entire process.
Account Separation - If you and your spouse share joint accounts, begin separating your financial assets. While state law varies, and a judge may rule that a monetary compensation be given, separating joint accounts at least prevents the other party from having malicious access to it during any divorce proceedings.
Track All Assets - If your divorce is going the way of a court hearing, then you'll likely be responsible for providing all financial records. Do yourself a favor and collect that information now. Doing so will not only help you manage your financial worth, but will also help you plan for current and future budgets that the divorce proceedings will likely effect. It is also a good idea to keep a strict eye on your budget moving forward.
Avoid Relocating - This is especially true with children, but regardless of if kids are involved or not, never move out of your shared residence. In some states, doing so can be seen as an amicable action to allowing the other party precedence over shared assets. If children are involved, leaving could be seen as relinquishing custody rights. Consult a divorce attorney on your state's specific laws regarding mutual domicile abandonment.
Do Your Homework - If you're seeking a divorce attorney, make sure to consult at least 3 different sources before choosing the right one for you. A suggested practice is to call your state BAR offices and have them recommend 3-5 preferred firms. Not all divorces are created equal, so do your own due-diligence and spend enough time to determine which one is right for you. After all, divorce doesn't simply stop after the paperwork is filed. Divorces can ruin lives, create financial hardships, and destroy credit. Do not take any chances.
Protect Yourself - While cooperation, communication, and mediation can help the entire transition be as smooth as possible, do not take everything your spouse says for face value. At any point, they too can hire a divorce attorney, and slam you with evidence you've unknowingly given during times of peaceful internal-mediation. Cooperate, but still protect yourself in case proceedings turn sour.
Consider Mediation - If your divorce is 100% amicable on both sides, and you're confident you can resolve this peacefully, consider hiring a joint attorney to act as a mediator. A mediator can help both parties discuss their desires, as well as find a healthy resolution. A mediator will also cut down on the divorce costs by a significant amount.
Stay Positive - Divorces are difficult! Next to purchasing a home and getting married, divorces are one of the most stressful things any one person can go through. Reach out to family and friends for support if you can, and if you're uncomfortable doing so, a psychologist is always a wise choice. Just having someone there to share your thoughts and feelings with can be invaluable to maintaining your sanity throughout the divorce. Your mental health is important, so do not overlook it.
Talk To Your Children - It isn't uncommon for miserable spouses to stay together simply for the kids. However, children often negatively affected even more by parents who stay in a high-conflict relationship. If you're undergoing a divorce, keep your children in the know. Sit down with your children and calmly explain the situation, make them understand it isn't their fault, provide a road-map for what's to come, and answer any questions they might have.
No one truly enters into a marriage expecting it to fail. However, with divorce rates as high as they are, if that time ever comes, you'll want to be as prepared as possible for it. And if you're currently facing divorce proceedings, hopefully this article has provided you with enough foundational information to get you started in the right direction.
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