Since we are heavily conditioned by society to doubt ourselves, we usually seek to see ourselves through others’ eyes, to borrow conclusions from society and turn blind eye to our reasoning, and to develop attitudes about certain things without dealing with them as individuals. We even reject and hide parts of ourselves that considered inappropriate by society.
On many occasions we find ourselves in situations where we have to choose between what we deeply know to be right for us and what is expected by others. There is a battle between everyone’s individual view and the collective view, a struggle between the within and the without. Starting from what to wear, which career path to take, to which worldview to adopt even to what kind of life one has, every day we make choices by which we either get closer to our true identities or fit in the molds acknowledged by society.
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Closing the gap between one’s real identity and that required by others can’t be undertaken without respecting one’s self.
Respecting oneself is referring to one’s values, emotions, aspirations, or beliefs upon making a choice while rethinking the ready-made concepts offered by society.
It is prioritizing your internal integrity over external benefits.
It is about acceptance of the aspects of yourself you have been rejecting.
It is acknowledgement and appreciation of both your strengths and weaknesses.
It is about being confident about what you can achieve and being honest and understanding of what you can’t.
it is about losing the desire to fake who you are and letting go of seeking others acceptance.
It is the ability to say No when it feels like No.
It is about riding the ebbs and flows of our emotions without exaggeration or suppression.
It is about never comparing yourself with others.
At the end of each day, when you lock the door behind and come face to face with yourself, it is how much aligned with your own values that makes this meeting bearable. How true you have been to yourself is what make you comfortable when there is no one around to distract you from your true self. How independent you have been in your decisions is what spares you the need for other to sustain your sense of self. The more one invests in others appreciation the more reliant on them and the more susceptible to their judgment he grows. How alive and nurtured your innate nature is what makes your life meaningful.
