To be quite frank with all of you, it is a little amazing to me that we still argue about whether or not it is a good thing to be a feminist. My father has always been a feminist, and I remember being a little girl and hearing him tell me how sad it made him to think of all the women who had not been able to achieve what they were capable of and what they really desired to do simply because they were women. He saw it as a great loss for the whole world. Just think of how many revolutionary discoveries we missed out on because women were not allowed to attend school or have certain jobs. I was always proud of my father for this. He wasn’t a perfect father, but he has a lot of good qualities, and this is definitely one of them.
My sweet daddy
In a rather odd turn of events, my mother was actually not a feminist in my growing up years, though I daresay she considers herself one now. When my brother was born, she had to immediately go to work. They were 19, and my father went to school full time and worked part time. So, when they had me, my mother really wanted to stay home with me at least until I went to school. In the 1970’s this was not a popular move among feminists. She has always said she felt shamed by the feminists of the day for wanting to be at home with her children. Allegedly she was letting down the movement and reinforcing stereotypes. I think this attitude was a major failure of the feminist movement. I also believe that has been corrected within feminism for the most part. I still get a little condescending bs every now and then about staying home with my kids but not so much.
The fact is feminism is very simply about advocating for equal rights, equal pay, equal value, equal treatment. Anyone who believes feminism is about attacking men or having more rights than men is honestly someone who is afraid of giving up their position of power. When you have been the one in power, equality feels like oppression. I believe all women should be valued and treated with respect, regardless of how they choose to spend their days. I believe all women should be allowed to pursue whatever work appeals to them and be paid according to their ability and totally independent of their gender. I believe work that has traditionally been considered “feminine” or “women’s work” should also be valued. This includes things like mothering, child care, elder care, and early education. All of those things are incredibly important and have only been undervalued and underpaid because they are women’s work. Let me tell you. I provide a lot of value to this world. My children are well educated about a host of things. They are well nourished, and they are much healthier than most children their age. They also are far less likely to end up in the judicial system. Staying home is not for every mom, and I understand that, but whoever is caring for and helping raise those children is a very important person who should definitely be valued - and compensated.
Now this is not to say feminism and the feminist movement do not have their problems because they do. I was a women’s studies minor in college, and the history of feminism is riddled with racism, anti semitism, and anti lgbtq and anit immigrant sentiments. Of course some of that is still going on. It ranges from women who don’t make the effort of considering the particular difficulties of women of color to women who adamantly refuse to accept trans women as women. However it has also often been feminist women who stood in solidarity with other movements. From fighting for abolition to fighting right now alongside Black Lives Matter and immigrant women trying to regain custody of their children. For me if it’s not inclusive, it’s not really feminism. If it is to truly be feminism, we have to be allies for the struggles of all marginalized people.
So it’s not a perfect movement. Every movement has outliers. Of course there are feminists who hate men, but that isn’t what feminism is about. Certainly there are feminists who are racist and TERF, but that isn’t what feminism is about either. For the most part it is a movement about honoring, respecting, and believing women. We seek to be respected enough to not be sexually assaulted and to be heard and believed when we are. We seek to be respected enough to be allowed to go where we choose and wear what we want. We seek to be respected enough to be allowed to work wherever and whenever we want - or not - and know we are valued. I just feel like it’s hard to argue with this shit.
Yet, here we are. Even here on Steemit, which I consider to be one of the most forward thinking and revolutionary platforms on all the interwebs, I see radical anti feminist sentiment. I mean. Come on. We’ve been at this for so long. Can we please get over this one? Can we accept that women’s gifts and strengths are every bit as important as men’s? Can we yet imagine that peace, cooperation, nurturing, healing, compassion, and helping are every bit as important strength, competition, and protection? For the love of God, can we at least acknowledge that it’s pretty damn magical that a spirit turns to form in our bodies and then we birth that being. Through our vaginas. And are then capable of being the exclusive food source of that being for the first year. I just feel frustrated, guys, and the more you fight it and the more you sound off about how feminists are here to rip men’s rights away and emasculate them all and rule the world, the more you sound like sad, lonely, rejected, bitter men. How about instead we all work together to see to it that all humans of any of the available genders (or not a gender), races, sexual preferences, ethnicities, and religions are all treated fairly and respectfully? Isn’t it time we believed in people’s inherent worth aside from their intellectual or physical abilities or economic situation? Isn’t it time we decided that every child should have a free and nurturing childhood?
This is my feminism, and I will yell it loud and proud until the end of my days. Y’all just wait until I’m old. I’m gonna be a seriously radical old lady all decked in bright purple, hollering at people and hitting them with my cane, so get your act together before then.
Much love, y’all!
As always, all pics are mine or pixabay unless otherwise noted.
