FRIDAY
I don't know if you'd really call it meditation, but I thought I'd give it a go anyway...
It was the break of dawn – a time when I'm usually fast asleep – but today I was awake because a massive storm had been shaking the walls of my caravan all night, getting particularly violent at about 4am. Maybe it was the smell which woke me up. One of the cats had shat on the little Indian rug which Alex had given me some years ago.
I threw the cats and the rug outside into the rain and went back to bed. It was cold and I couldn't get to sleep, so I looked at Facebook. Last night I'd made the mistake of getting into an argument with a bunch of carnivores about veganism. Always a bad idea. Now I was being subjected to being called names by people who didn't know me, who had no real argument and nothing better to do with their time and energies.
Then I remembered meditation. Now would be a good time to start.
It was freezing cold, so I decided to do my meditation lying down in bed. Apart from that, I followed Alex's instructions – being aware of my breathing, my body, the sound of the rain and the branches lashing against the roof of my caravan, observing the thoughts passing through my mind and then letting them go...
I don't know if you'd call it an out of body experience, but at one point, I found myself lying in a green meadow on very soft grass in the sunshine. It quite surprised me when I remembered that I was actually lying in a cold dark room, before dawn, in a thunderstorm.
After fifteen minutes were up, I drifted into a very sweet, deep sleep and dreamed of an impromptu festival which was set up outside my caravan by some friendly people.
I woke up not knowing where I was. Looked at my phone to see that there were more comments on facebook. Didn't bother to look what they were. Deleted the thread.
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SATURDAY
Went to listen to some good live Indian music. Practised a bit of meditation while I was listening to the rise and fall of the singer's voice and the drone of the sitar. Found that Indian music is very conducive to meditation.
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SUNDAY
Things on my mind:
Uncertain future as I am soon to be evicted from this caravan and my studio where I live and work, to make way for houses to be built on this land. Don't know where I'm going to go or how I'll pay for it. It's hard to find a bit of space around here where a man can live a simple life and practice his craft. Situation made complex because I want to stay close to my children (but far from their mum). Political situation in this country hard to ignore. Friends in west bank and Gaza suffering terrible hardships and injustice. What can I do? Building work going on all around me. Can't hear the sound of the wind in the trees because of all the machine noises all around me. Where can I find a bit of peace and quiet around here?
I will try meditating now and see if it helps...
Does sitting and smoking cigarettes count as meditation? I don't suppose it does. I think I'll go into my guitar room. It's too noisy out here.
The main difficulty I find with meditating is sitting up straight without leaning my back on something. It's something I should practice. But I think I'll meditate in a chair today. I don't want to give myself a hard time.
Now, after meditating for 15 minutes....
It took me a while to find the right spot, but eventually I settled on this bench, cross legged.
Surprisingly difficult to start with. Breathing shallow. Mind distracted. Neck and back felt crooked. Had to do a bit of stretching to try to align my body. Became aware of parts of my body I often ignore, that seem to require better care and attention. Shoulders, neck, lungs, some aspect of my digestive system. I'm glad I noticed. I don't treat my body very well. I should take care of it if I want it to carry me around for the rest of my life and do what needs to be done.
Thoughts flitting through my mind. As soon as I notice them I let them go. Some tedious, some worrying, some mundane, some profound.
By the end of fifteen minutes I found a comfortable, relaxed, peaceful state. I was surprised that my alarm went off so soon, so I I gave myself a few more minutes, being aware of the endless, infinite, boundless enormity of space and time – and the tiny (though not insignificant) part my life has in the Universe.
Gave a blessing of gratitude for my life and all that's good in it.
Feel better prepared to face the day now.
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TUESDAY
Feeling very much in need of meditation. Don't know if I can really spare the time for it, having just wasted my whole morning driving to get to a dentist appointment on the wrong day. Perhaps that's a sign that I really should meditate. I'm all over the place right now. Totally out of focus. I've got loads of work to do and don't even know where to start. Fuck it.
Timer set for 15 minutes. Here goes...
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Today I arrive quickly at that place
of peace and tranquility
Thoughts of work and all I should be doing
flit across my mind
And I let them go.
They are not needed
At this moment in time
My breathing is deep and slow
I listen to the silence all around me
Branches are knocking against the thin walls
of this temporary place I inhabit
I am those branches. I am this place
Time goes on
I wonder if I remembered to set my alarm.
How will I know? Perhaps I should check.
A bird starts singing outside my window
I am that bird.
I feel my whole body. Every part. Inside and out.
I feel hers too.
I am a wild orchid on a mountainside
A delicate lotus unfurling
I am a holy man outstretched on the banks of a holy river
I remember to give thanks for all that is good in my life
I give myself this time
This precious fifteen minutes.
Memories of childhood wash across my mind
I am that child still...
Surprised when my alarm suddenly goes off
I wake as if from a dream
Time to get back to work
Glad I took that time.
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WEDNESDAY
I am the rain. Falling softly on the roof
Wash my soul. Eternal moment.
I can feel my body and mind being rearranged. Straightened out.
Dissolving ego. It will take some time.
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THURSDAY
Time dragged on as usual. Sometimes it's not easy to just sit and do nothing. I had to keep on bringing my mind back to the here and now. Sitting, breathing. Eyes closed, fully conscious.
I sat up straighter that I have in years, and breathed deeper.
By the end of the long 15 minutes my mind is so empty, I can barely hold a thought at all.
This makes writing about the experience difficult right now.
I am amazed at how quickly I have adapted to the practice of meditation. At the start of this week I could barely sit up. I did my first day's meditation lying in bed. Now if you saw me, you'd think I was a statue of the Buddha.
Some of the people I most admire are those healthy ones. You can tell who they are quite easily, if you pay attention, because they seem to shine and glow with a healthful aura.
When they sit, they sit up straight. They exercise regularly, intentionally, because they value their physical health and well-being. They practice yoga, tai-chi, or some other form of eastern art, meant to improve body and mind. They eat good food, in a very mindful way, because their body is a temple.
Now, I'm not saying that those kind of people are any smarter, or better, or even less annoying that, say, the drunken poet in the gutter, or the twenty stone scientist who lives on chocolate bars – but they give a good example of how it's possible to live a healthy life with a bit of care and attention, good intention and practice.
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FRIDAY
I just want to say thanks to @eco-alex for suggesting this challenge, which gave me the incentive to start meditating. It's not something I've ever really done before in a regular way and the benefits of fifteen minutes a day of meditative practice are much greater than I would have expected a week ago. Try it for yourself. It's worth the time.
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I'd recommend you read this simple and straightforward piece by @eco-alex about how to meditate. I found it very useful:
Check out ecoTrain for a range of posts from the best writers on Steemit, dedicated to making the world a better place: