Should We Judge, and if so, by whose standards?

Don't you look at me so smug
and say i goin' bad,
who are you to judge me,
and the life i live?
i know that i'm not perfect
and that i don't claim to be,
so before you point your fingers,
make sure your hands are clean.
Judge not,
before you judge yourself!
judge not,
if you're not ready for judgement!
oh-oh-oh!
The road of life is rocky,
and you may stumble too:
so while you talk about me,
someone else is judging you.

-Judge Not by Bob Marley

A Fantastic QOTW

Even though I'm doing my fast in a location with notoriously bad connectivity and zero power, when I saw the Question of the Week that @ecotrain came up with this week, I couldn't resist. I just had to post a reply.

It's a very interesting topic that I almost feel I can't do justice to. The question is: Should we judge other people by our own standards? My instant reaction to this question was, why should we judge others in the first place, and if we do so, by who else's standards should we do it?

To Judge or Not to Judge

The reason I started out with the wise words of Bob Marley is because I really believe we should not judge others. To each their own. What's important for me may not be important to them, and vice versa. However, there may be cases where it may conflict with my values to simply let certain things happen.

What if someone dumps their trash into a river? What if they beat their children? What if they openly express their hatred towards me or those I love? Should I just accept it in the non-judgmental fashion like I would someone wearing a stick of celery in their hair? I don't think so! Sure, practicing non-violence and keeping to myself, letting others live their lives in a way I don't agree with may work out for the Amish, but I don't think it's what I want.

Having values requires standing up for them, and caring about others means defending them from harm, should that situation arise. And I could see how this applies to the river or even other people's children. Besides, the question simply talks about judging others, not confronting them. So as nice as it sounds not to judge, at certain times we do. And that's okay, it only shows we value something!

Whose Standards to Go by?

As for the other part of the question, if we don't apply our own standards when judging others, the next best candidate that makes sense is the person we are judging. After all, they probably have their own values, which may not be ours. So if someone is, let's say notorious for being late, should we judge them by our own value of punctuality, which they obviously don't share? Wouldn't that be like being told off by somebody for “looking scruffy”, because they value a clean shaven face more than me? These examples would favor judging people by their standards. The only problem with this approach is that it would favor the lowest standards. After all, if others judge me by what's important to me, I could just stop caring all together...!

Caring A Lot About the “Wrong” Things

Coming back to the problem of the unacceptable, some people actually have very strong values, except for, they're not values I share. I have been on the receiving end of judgment on various occasions for eating and wearing animal products. Normally my typical reaction is to tell them that my values are not theirs (which they may or may not accept), but what if I encountered someone who likes to eat and wear humans? Would my attitude still be the same “to each their own” mentality? I'm not so sure...

Double Standards, Anyone?

Finally, there is the question of double standards. Ideally no one wants to have them, but just like I pointed out mine when it comes to cannibalism, it may be not that uncommon to hold others to a different standard than one's own. In fact, our entire society is based on the notion that we have to care about the well-being of ourselves and our family, less so about our friends and neighbors, and not at all about the rest. If that's not a double standard, I don't know what is. But after what I've written, I don't know if I can judge anyone in this regard.

What Can We Do?

So as I mentioned in the beginning, I don't think I can do any justice to this week's QOTW. There is no definite answer I can offer. Put up with the unacceptable by holding everyone to their own low, double, or alternating standards? Consider my own standards as the measure of all values, and maybe try to convert others to it, like so many religious or political movements do? Or take the hypothetical and idealistic “highest standard of all”, one that is even beyond my own, to judge myself and others? This last option would most likely be a guarantee for hypocrisy, though the previous options don't sound much better, either.

Instead, I think I will just avoid a clear answer by saying: it all depends on the situation. Although I'm sorry i could not arrive at a better, more distinct conclusion, I hope that these thoughts I put out there made at least for an interesting reading.