Tears fall into my coffee and I drink them.......I will drown my damn Ego, once again!
Hmmmm!
The Red Dragon is your Conscious Self - Who you are and who you are becoming - Source
Something doesn't feel right those past days and it becomes clearer, that my impatience is growing. In order to make my dreams come true, I have to take action again, rather than simply wishing for what I want.
Vision is such an important companion to our efforts
There is only one choice I have and it is to stay focused on my own, little lost in space, dreams again. We need to visualise them first, when they seem blurry.
Life doesn't make sense sometimes but it's worth to keep on looking for our purpose.
What makes us so unique? I have to admit that I am not sure what makes me special, when your closest ones criticise you that much. I enjoyed a sincere hug yesterday evening and say thank you to the one, who felt empathy for my repressed tears and my temporary insecurities effected by the strong moon vibrations.
I wish to participate in useful projects again and wonder what stops me! The same old behaviour patterns do and keep me frustrated at the moment, a feeling of not being active enough.
Maybe its time to sit still?
My life is on hold because I decided to dedicate my time, caring for my mother. It seems the right thing to do but it also puts me in a cage, filled with too much responsibility, I never wanted and even thought that I would not be capable, to handle well. I just do it anyways.
At least I can be proud that for once, I don't run away.
This situation produces confusion in my head and random thoughts in my todays article!
I find myself hiding more than usual. That's a safe place, I am so familiar with. My senses are hyper emotional!
I am too sensitive over senseless power games.
I am too sensitive to accept criticism.
I am craving understanding for my worries.
I feel lonely but not alone. I mistrust! I am confused and doubt my instincts.
People puzzle me......
Thanks @akashas to remind me about The Mayan calendar's cycle.
Yes Dear! I try to fight the "Red Dragons" of Ego struggles, once again.
I love to know!
Image Source
We Need Radical Imagination as a Source of Power as Poka Laenui describes
I am looking for prophets!
I would like to mention a man, I read about, quite a lot recently.
His recent prophecy takes the form of a fictional guide for a visitor to Hawai’i in the year 2035. The story describes life in Hawai’i once it regains sovereignty, which was taken from the Hawaiian people in 1893 with the overthrow and imprisonment of Queen Lili?uokalani and the subsequent annexation by the United States - Source
Poka Laenui is inspired by Native Hawaiian storytellers, the prophets, he calls them, who traditionally created “imagery and dreams, and let them fly, so other people could understand and participate.”
“Begin the dreaming process! If I prophesize wrong, at least other people will be inspired to try it themselves. Otherwise we just grumble about what we don’t have.” - Read this inspiring article HERE
Maybe we should define our fears first instead of our goals.
I don't know but one thing I know for sure that it's more than time to clarify what stops me on and on and let the family bullshit go!
I faced a "Dragon" once and I will do it again!
(I post more of my previous articles since many asked me "who I am". My articles will tell you)
Face2Face With A Komodo Dragon, The Heaviest Lizard On Earth
Yesterday, I read a very touching, extremely moving, honest and intense article from @steemtruth "Caring for a Dying parent, I don't like" about his relationship to his father.
I did not make any comment but my own relationship with my parents became more present in my mind, than I wish for. I am in a vicious cycle it seems of a so called ongoing family drama and it seems there is no end in sight.
My own destined Karma enfolds looking at my present, twisted relationship with my own daughter. She builds walls around her and as a typical mother, not always as perfect as I wished to be, I am driven to brake those bricks she uses to draw her borderline. I guess thats exactly the wrong thing to do because it puts pressure on a young girl who tries to become independent, wanting to live her own life she is entitled to without Mom in her back.
I hate walls!
Limitations are unpleasant but I have to admit that I also build them around me, throughout my life.
My crystal walls of my own cocoon were my protection and now I see them growing again but I never wanted my girl to copy me.
For sure, I never wished to be on the "other side"!
I made a decision a while ago that I prefer to write about the beautiful things in life and share memories, I decided to remember because I refuse to bring up the "damages" with the motive of forgiveness in the back of my heart. I am squeezing the "shit" away from me and I do it since I am 11.
There are many reasons why I practised this habit but this is for another article.
Oh dear! I seem to copy my mother. She always puts the bad stuff under her million of carpets.
Maybe that's why I actually hate places with carpets! You can find too much "dirt" underneath.
I will plan a big clean up time ......once again!
That's it for today with my random rant for the blockchain to know!
Yours @mammasitta
