They are all around us. Everywhere we look, they lurk. They are even outside! They are everywhere, and we simply ignore them, until we need them, then we jab them until they give us what we want.
Power.
Sockets, also known as Jolt Pixies, are small, plastic rectangles of electrical stimulation. They grow in almost any climate, and provide power to a very specific set of things. In case you hadn’t noticed, sockets are racist.
In order to protect yourself from sockets, there are some things you should know.
- Despite how tasty they look, sockets are not edible. You should also not lick them as they will let you know how little they like being licked.
- There are never just one socket. Before approaching a socket, always check the area to verify the location of other sockets in case you need to make a swift exit.
- Never make a swift exit.
- If you are attacked by a socket, make a swift exit.
- Some non-beige sockets are open to the idea of dating, but don’t be careless and mention tree frogs, double digit dress sizes, or Donald J. Trump. Hint: it’s the hair.
- There isn’t enough money in the world for whatever it is you’re thinking.
- Never stare at a socket.
That should do it. Be safe. Don’t lick.