Who am I?

This is a question I find myself confronted with time and time again. Usually it's when someone else doesn't understand me or what I'm saying or feeling. Then I once again notice that everyone is different. And that often I don't even understand myself.
I've read lots of books and articles on psychology and personality development. I've watched numerous interviews and videos on living happily, and on self-love (which is connected apparently ;-) ). And I've taken pretty much every personality test I could find.
The one I found most helpful was the Myers-Briggs (16 personalities) test - you can take it here for example: https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
Apparently I'm the least common personality type, which is INFJ, the "advocate". I was intruiged by the short description - I suddenly found that I was quirky, yes, but others were too! I bought a whole book about the INFJ and since then I'm on the journey to get to know myself.

About masks and layers

I've always felt like an alien in this world, never fitting in anywhere, but always trying to. Now I try to just be content with myself, with the way I am. But that also means opening up, shedding the various masks I show different people, peeling away layers of guilt and lies I've been told and told myself about me.

I'm travelling to my inner self, to my core, to who I really am. It's hard.

But it's worth it, I'm sure of it! I still have a long way ahead of me and I paint what I feel. At the moment I feel confused by myself and all my layers, which are all me but often contradict themselves...

Here are a few steps of this watercolor painting:

The sketch