If you don’t know what you want, then how will you know whether you have it or not? Because of childhood conditioning, some people have greater awareness of what they don’t want and can identify only with difficulty what they do want. We motivate ourselves all the time in two ways: by moving toward pleasure and moving away from pain. If your motivation is based solely on moving away from what you don’t want, you tend to be primarily reactive to outside conditions, rather than motivated to take the initiative that would produce your internal desires
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When you notice that things are not going the way you intended, you must have the behavioral flexibility to achieve your outcome.
Behavioral flexibility is all about changing what you are doing curently to produce a different result. Some people think that by doing the same thing over and over again they will produce different results. This is one definition of insanity. To achieve different results, you must change your strategy and behaviors to produce the results you desire.